This Life Has No Guarantees
by soulmates2000
Summary: Sequel to It Only Took A Moment. Things happen and they change everyone forever. No one will ever be the same again after the events that unfold. But along with that their is joy and happiness. Complete and Thank you to everyone for reading my story.
1. Life in the Balance

Ricky looked at Amy and he could feel his tears falling down his cheeks. She lay there looking so helpless and pale. She was unconscious and was on a breathing machine. She had several tubes coming out of her arms. She was black and blue all over from her fall. Her face was purple and black. Her neck was in a brace and she lay motionless as she had for the past few hours. He glanced at the small swell of her stomach. She had just began her twentieth week of her third pregnancy. None of the doctors were telling his much about his wife or his unborn child. He just couldn't bare to think of losing either of them. It broke Ricky's heart to see his Amy and the baby that they both wanted so much seem so fragile and hanging between life and death. He went over to the bed and he sat down on the bed next to Amy. He placed a kiss on her forehead. He put his hand very gently to her stomach and he made a silent prayer to protect them. Then he laid down next to her and cradled in her in his arms. Ricky closed his eyes trying to get some sleep but the horrible nightmare still played over and over again in his memory.

He was back in front of their apartment on the second floor. Amy had just started to walk down the stairs as Ricky had closed and locked up their apartment. Then all of a sudden as he turned he saw Amy fall forward and she hit each stair with a sickening thud until she finally stopped at the bottom of the stairs. She lay still and didn't move even when Ricky shot down the stairs as fast as he could and as he reached her side he knew she was in real trouble. He pulled out his cell phone and called 911.

"I need an ambulance NOW!" Ricky said worriedly into the phone.

"Sir we are getting your location and are sending out help. I need you to stay with me. What happened?" The woman asked Ricky.

"My wife was walking down the stairs and she lost her balance and she fell down a flight of stairs. Please I need help. She is twenty weeks pregnant and she fell bad." Ricky tried to control his voice but it was hard to keep his emotions under control.

"Did she land on her stomach? Is she conscious?" the woman asked him.

"I don't think she landed on her stomach but I don't know for sure. She is not awake. But she has a pulse and she is breathing." Ricky said as he checked both from his medical training from when he had been in the army. Then he felt Amy and she has stopped breathing. He started to do CPR immediatly. Breathing into her mouth and doing chest compressions. She began to breath again and Ricky kept watch very closely as she took each breath.

"Ok now I need you to stay with me the ambulance is on the way and will be there shortly. I need you to monitor her breathing and her pulse. Can you do that till the ambulance gets there?" the woman asked Ricky again.

"Yes I can." Ricky said as he continued to monitor Amy and then he heard the ambulance's sirens in the background.

After a few minutes they had Amy loaded up into the ambulance and were getting ready to rush her to the hospital. Ricky climbed in next to her. He held onto her hand and watched as the EMT's began to treat her as best as they could with the equiptment they had available. It seemed like years but finally they made it to the hospital and they unloaded the gurney with Amy on it and got her into a room in the ER. Ricky was asked to wait in the waiting room till they got Amy's injuries asseced and hopefully knew more about what had happened to her and her unborn child.

They had finally gotten Amy into a room and let Ricky see her. Thats when he had laid down next to her and had fallen asleep to the horrible nightmare that kept playing over and over again in his mind. Then he heard the door open and he saw a doctor walk into the room. Ricky sat up and got up from the bed. He went over to the doctor.

"Hi I am Dr. Schultz. I have been treating your wife. We have run several tests and so far Amy is stable. Her breathing was uneven when she came in so we intubated her so that she would be breathing better. We also checked out her injuries. She has several bruises and contusions but what had concerned me was that she hit her head with such a force that she lost consciousness and still has not woke up. We did several x-rays and scans. When Amy hit her head she hit with such force that her brain actually hit the inside of Amy's skull and her brain is showing signs of bruising of the brain. Her brain has actually swelled inside of her skull and is causing trouble with her breathing. We are going to continue treatment and monitor her very closely. We won't know the effects or long term effects for a while. It can be minor to extremely serious but we just don't know yet but we will continue to keep checking on her and monitoring her condition closely. We also examined the fetus. The fall doesn't seem to have hurt the fetus. The fetus is not in distress and doing well but we will continue to also monitor both of them closely. I am sorry I can't give you anymore information. I am just hoping that she will wake up and that we can examine her and see how she is doing. We will be in and out of her room. If you have any questions you can have the nurse page me. I have to check on another patient but I will be back soon." Dr. Schultz said as he put his hand on Ricky's shoulder.

"Thank you." Ricky choked out as the doctor left the room.

Ricky heard his phone go off and he looked at the cell it read Adrian Cell. He picked up the phone and hit talk. "Hello?" Ricky said.

"Ricky? I can't get a hold of Amy. We were expectiing you both hours ago. Is everything ok?" Adrian asked in worry.

"No Amy took a bad fall down the stairs and we are at the hospital. The doctors don't know anything yet they are watching her and the baby and won't know anything for a while it sounds like. I can't really talk not though. I will call you when I know more. Can you call my parents and Amy's for me though? Amy's parents have John and Anna for the day and they will worry if we don't come and pick them up tonight." Ricky said as his tears kept falling from his eyes.

"Oh my God I am so sorry Ricky. Of course I will. If you need anything Ricky, Bryan and I are here for you and don't forget that. I will be praying for her and the baby Ricky." Adrian said into the phone. Ricky could hear that fear in her voice.

"Thanks Adrian that means a lot to me and my family. I will keep you updated as soon as I know anything at all." Ricky said as he hung up the phone. He put his cell back in his pocket. He then sat down in the chair next to Amy's bed and he put his hands to his face and let his tears cry. He cried for his fears, for his pain, and for his two loved ones that he could feel hung between life and death a line so fragile that it could be cut with such ease. Ricky cried until he couldn't cry anymore. He finally fell asleep.

When he woke up to beeping noises and people in Amy's room. The nurses and doctors were putting shots in Amy's arms and they were doing chest compressions and they were shocking her chest. Ricky stood up but he felt like his legs were Jello he stared at Amy. Her lips were blue and her gown was pulled back exposing her body. A nurse noticed Ricky and she went over to him.

"Sir you'll have to leave now." She said as she directed him to the door.

"Please tell me what's going on. I need to know. That's my wife and child. They are my life." Ricky pleaded with the woman.

"Your wife's heart stopped and the doctors are trying to shock her and get it beating again. We will let you know as soon as we can but we need you to give us room to let us do our work. I am sorry but you'll have to stay out of the room." The nurse said as she closed the door in front of Ricky.

Ricky stood there and looked in the window. He could see Amy's body being poked and prodded and being shocked and shocked repeatedly. Then the nurse closed the blinds and all Ricky could do was hear the horrible noises and commotion from the room. He stood by the wall and collapsed and he put his head down and he prayed and prayed for Amy to be ok and to let her live. But Ricky felt like Amy was no where near him. He felt like her spirit was no longer there. Just her body that the doctors were trying to keep alive so hard. Then Ricky just cried and cried for he felt like he was losing his wife and their baby. 


	2. Fighting to Survive

Ricky had been outside for almost an hour when Dr. Schultz finally came back out to talk to Ricky. He looked very somber and he went up to Ricky and looked at him and began to talk slowly as if he was trying to find the right words to say to him. Ricky wanted to run and hide. He wanted to be anywhere but where he was. He did not want to hear what the doctor had to say cause he feared it would only be bad news.

"Mr. Underwood, we got Amy's heart beating again. She is currently stable but she is being prepped for surgery. We will need your signature on these forms in case of the worst. We will do everything that we can to save her and the child. But you need to sign these we do not have much time." Dr. Schultz said as he handed the clipboard with the forms on them to Ricky.

Ricky stared at the papers and he signed where there was an x. He felt numb. Amy was alive but barely but she was still alive. He handed the forms back to the doctor who took them and went back into Amy's room and then a minute later they wheeled Amy along with nurses and other doctors off to surgery. Ricky watched as Amy went by. She looked horrible. Her face had swelled up even more than before and she looked so pale. He feared for her. He only hoped that she was strong enough to overcome all of this.

Ricky began to walk along the hallway. He walked and walked. Finally stopping in front of Amy's room again. Ricky looked at his phone it read 4:47 pm. It had been at least three hours since Amy's fall. Ricky put his phone away. He went into Amy's room and sat back down. It was so quiet, to quiet for him. All the equiptment was left behind from the efforts to keep Amy alive. Ricky pulled out his wallet and pulled out a photo of Amy and himself from their wedding day. Both of them so happy and in love. They were filled with so much hope and joy that day. It seemed like it was another lifetime ago now. Ricky finally fell asleep again as exhaustion overcame him.

He began to dream. He was in a funeral home and he saw a casket in front of him. The cover was closed. Ricky walked up to it and he pulled it open. There was his wife Amy. She lay so still and quiet as if she was asleep. She was dressed in a black dress and she was so beautiful but so pale. Ricky felt his knees buckle and he fell down on the floor and cried as he could feel the loss so close to his heart. He loved her so much and he felt like his heart was broken. He had to wake up. This couldn't be true and he wouldn't let this happen. He needed her as if he needed the very air that kept him breathing. He got up and he shook Amy and he screamed at her to wake up but she didn't. She had no response at all. She felt so cold to the touch and so lifeless. This wasn't the Amy he remembered. She was filled with love and joy and so much life. She couldn't be dead. He couldn't face this world without her in his life. Ricky could feel himself slipping away and he didn't want to let go of Amy. He couldn't let go of her.

Ricky woke up as the nurse was shacking his arm to wake him up. Ricky rubbed his eyes glad it was only a dream. It felt to real and for a moment he thought it might be only he was glad it was not. The nurse looked at Ricky as he stood up and stretched.

"Your wife is out of surgery. She survived the surgery. The doctor says she is stable and is doing much better. They inserted a device to monitor her brain pressure and the swelling. But the doctor says the swelling seems to have subsided some. So that's a good sign. She is being brought back to her room here in the ICU. She will have to remain here for a while at least.

A few hours later Ricky sat next to Amy. Her head was totally bandaged up from her surgery. She still had not woke up but her breathing was stable as were her heartbeat. So that was a good sign. Her doctors and nurses checked on her often, still no change. But her doctors had said earlier when they told him about the surgery and her chances of recovery that it would depend on time to see if she recovered. The brain was still a mysterious part of the body that could be wonderful and heal it self but sometimes the damage was so severe from the trauma that there wasn't much to be done. But Amy's test were postive. It didn't appear to show to much brain damage after all. So they were hopeful she would make a good recovery, hopefully. No one was handing out any guarantees especially after all that Amy's body had endured in the last twelve hours from her bad fall. But the baby was doing well and appeared to still be unharmed at least from the fall. Ricky was thankful for that. He knew how much the baby meant to him and Amy.

For the next few hours Ricky fell asleep at times at others he stay awake and watched Amy's vitals on the screen. As he fell asleep he had different types of dreams ranging from nightmares to good dreams of Amy and their family. Ricky finally decided he couldn't take the nightmares so he stayed awake so he would not see them in his mind anymore. They haunted him so deeply. He had not been so troubled before except two other times in his life. The first when their son John had been diagnosed with cancer and he held a couragous battle for his life. And secondly when he had been overseas fighting with the Army. The horrible things he saw had scared him so bad and left him changed forever but when he got back with his wife and his children he felt safe again and happy to be back to them and the future that they would share until this horrible accident had happened.

Then he thought of his friend Ben. He had been a good man and a good friend. His life had been cut short when a woman struck their car and Ben had suffered horrible injuries. So bad that the doctors could not save him. Then he thought of Ben and Adrian's daughter Mercy who never even got the chance to experience life at all. Her life cut so short that life was not fair. But no one ever said it was or offered guarantees of a happy ending. His friends had suffered horrible things in their lives and he felt so bad for them. But Adrian was doing better. She had her and Ben's daughter Hope and her new husband of four months Bryan and his two daughters Holly and Kate in her life. She seemed happy for the first time in a long time since Ben had died. Ricky just wished these horrible things would stop happening to them. It hurt to much for those that he loved to have go see horrible things happen to them and others. He just wanted all of this to be a nightmare and for him to wake up and everything to be alright. But it was not. It was really happening and he would have to accept that.

Amy stirred a little. Ricky jumped up from where he was sitting and stood next to her bed. he held her hand and squeezed it. He saw her eyes moving even though they remained closed. He kissed her hand and he waited for more of a sign that she was waking up. He didn't see any thing else but he knew it was something. At least she was alive and had some responses no matter how small they might be.

"Amy I love you so much sweetheart. You are the love of my life. I need you so much my sweet darling. Please do not leave me or the kids here without you. I don't think I could survive without you in my life. You brought me hope and love and made me want to be a better person. I owe you so much. And we finally get to be together after being seperated by different relationships, then when John got sick and we kept being apart cause I was overseas. But then I was finished serving and we had the whole future ahead of us and the new baby. Remember we were at Bryan and Adrian's wedding a few months back when you whispered into my ear that we were pregnant again and I was so happy and I was more in love with you at that moment then ever before if that's even possible. I love you so much Amy you have to know that. I know you feel it. I do too. Our love is what we have in this life that keeps us sane and grounded from all the bad and horrible things. And I know this is a terrible thing that happened but I know you. You are a very strong person and I love that about you. I know that if anyone can overcome this it's you honey. I won't give up on you until your very last breath. I promise you that. So please please don't leave me here all alone." Ricky felt his tears falling again. The very thought of her not in his life was more than he could bare at all. He would do whatever he could to make sure she made a full recovery and had a good life ahead of her and for their family.


	3. What Was Lost

Amy felt like she was in a place where no pain was and she was surrounded by white light. She could feel a strong pull toward the brightest light of all but then she felt Ricky's tears close to her heart she turned back toward him. Although she wanted to go toward the light so bad something kept pulling her back toward where Ricky cried over her broken body that had endured such struggle to keep living. She felt like her heart had stopped at one point and she could see the doctors working over her and she could see Ricky falling apart as he feared the worst. Then she saw the small mound of where her baby, his baby, their baby was safe and alive, and if she went so would their baby. And that brought such sadness to Amy's heart of their baby never getting to live and have a life. So she fought as hard as she could to get back to her body with all her might. She was so tired but she made it back but she knew she had a long road ahead of her. But she would continue to fight as long as she could.

It had been two weeks since Amy's fall. She had begun to slowly wake up as her doctor's said after such a coma it would take some time for Amy to become fully awake. But she made more movements with her arms and legs and her facial expressions as well. Ricky spent every moment he could at the hospital next to Amy's bedside. She had several visitors over the last two weeks. Her parents, Robbie, Ashley, Adrian, Bryan, Grace, Jack, Leo and Camielle, John and Anna and so many others who all loved Amy and who were praying for her. It had been especially hard on Adrian to see Amy hooked up to so many machines. It had brought back horrible memories of when Ben had been in the emergency room and hooked up to machines only they couldn't save him and Adrian had been there when he had died and it left her changed in so many ways. But Bryan had been her support the entire time that they came to see Amy and Ricky.

Dr. Schultz was happy with Amy's progress. The swelling was gone and her brain activity was good and it appeared she wouldn't have much damaged from the fall. She just needed to wake up for them to know the full extent of the damage. The baby was doing well. Amy was measuring just where she should be at 22 weeks along in her pregnancy. And the baby was out of the woods from the fall. Ricky only hoped she would wake up soon cause he couldn't take the waiting much longer. It was agony not knowing the outcome of his wife's future. He just needed to know one way or the other. But her doctors said they had to wait and see and that was the only advice they could offer unfortunatly. But Ricky kept pushing on each day that passed by.

Ricky had just waken up as he sat in the chair next to Amy's bed. He held her hand when she moved her fingers. It didn't make Ricky jump cause she had been doing that for a while. But then he looked up and he saw her eyes open and moving around. She rested on his face. She tried to talk but she was still on the breathing machine.

"Hey honey. You can't talk they had to put you on a breathing machine. But it is so good to see you awake. I will get the doctor. Don't go away. I love you darling." He told her as he kissed her forehead. He ran out of the room and got a doctor and told him that Amy was awake and she was looking around.

The doctor came into Amy's room. He looked at the machines and he examined Amy for a few minutes. Then he looked at Amy and began to talk to her for the first time. " Amy I am Dr. Hansen. I am going to take out the breathing tube so you can talk ok? Blink twice if you understand me." The doctor said as he watched Amy who blinked twice after he told her too.

A few minutes later Amy was off the machine and breathing on her own. She looked around trying to make sense of where she was and what had happened to her. Her head hurt and her memory was fuzzy. She couldn't make it make sense to herself. She looked over at the doctor who was giving her commands. She did well as he asked her to wiggle her toes, hands, feet, touch her nose etc. Finally he asked her questions.

"What's you name?" he asked her.

She struggled for a moment before she answered him, "Amy Elizabeth Juergens."

The doctor frowned for a second as he made notes on his chart then he asked another, "Do you know who this man is?"

"Yes he is the father of my baby." Amy said to the doctor.

"Do you know where you live?" the doctor asked.

"I live with my parents and my sister." Amy said.

Ricky stared at the doctor worriedly but the doctor pressed on with other questions. "How many children do you have?"

"I just have the one I am pregnant with now." Amy told the doctor.

"And how old are you Amy?" the doctor asked her.

"Fifteen." Amy said again.

"And are you seeing anyone at the moment?" the doctor asked her.

"My boyfriend is Ben. "

"And what year is now?"

"2009" Amy continued to answer the doctor.

"Alright Amy I'll be right back. I am just going to talk to Mr. Underwood for a moment. I'll be right back." the doctor said as he and Ricky left Amy's room.

"Dr. Hansen she got the details all wrong. She is twenty-one almost twenty-two. We have two children at home who are six and almost three. We been married over three years and we live together in our three bedroom apartment. I was discharged from the army after serving four years just a few months ago. What is going on? Why doesn't she remember any of it?" Ricky said with worry in his voice. How could she forget everything they had shared together.

"Amy is suffering from some sort of memory loss. It may just be temporary. In time her memories could return slowly or maybe quickly. She suffered quite an injury from her fall. Now you need to be patient and explain everything to her slowly. She might go into shock if you give her too much information at one time. Do you understand Ricky?" Dr. Hansen asked as he searched Ricky's face for understanding.

"Yes I do." Ricky said as he walked back into the room with Dr. Hansen and they both took a seat near Amy's bed.

"Amy you lost some of your memories. I know that can be scary but you suffered a fall and it's probably what's causing the memory loss. Ricky is going to try to fill you in on what you can't remember. It's okay Amy don't be scared though. It will all be okay." Dr. Hansen said as he saw the aprehension on Amy's face but then she calmed as he added not to worry at the end.

"Amy for starters. You are 21 not 15. We had a son John who's six now. And we have a little girl Anna who is almost three. We been married over three years. We got married on the beach. It was a beautiful wedding. And your pregnant with our third child. We don't know what were having cause we wanted to be surprised. You are taking online courses to become a teacher one day. And I was discharged from the Army six months ago. Amy are you okay?" Ricky asked with concern as he saw Amy's eyes get bigger with each piece of news.

Amy looked at her left hand and saw an engagement ring and a wedding band. She slipped them off of her finger and stared at them and moved them around in her hands. She noticed in her wedding band the saying Forever. Then she turned up and looked at Ricky.

"I'm sorry I don't remember any of this. I see that it says forever but I just don't remember." Amy said as she looked at the rings again.

"That's right and my band says Always. You told me once after a horrible tragedy that we would be together Now and Forever. And when we got married we wanted the words Always and Forever to remember that. It's alright you will remember in time. Don't be upset you had a bad fall and the doctor thinks you'll remember in time. We will take it easy and slow until you do. I promise. I love you." Ricky said as he choked back the hurt in his heart that she could not remember him but she remembered Ben.

"I am sorry I don't know you or remember you. It just all so overwhelming for me right now. I just want to go to sleep for a while." Amy said as she put the rings on the end table next to her."

"Ok. I'll leave so you can get some rest then. I'll see you soon." Ricky said as he felt his heart break at the sight of her rings on the end table and not on her hand where they belonged. And his heart broke even more as she couldn't remember him, their life and their love together. He only hoped that she would in time. He vowed he would keep trying to help her remember what she had forgotten. Cause he needed her so much in his life. He loved her so much that he knew that deep down she would come around eventually. At least she remembered they had John together even if she didn't remember John exactly but she would he wouldn't let her forget any of it. 


	4. Trying to Pick Up the Pieces

Ricky was at home with Anna and John. He fed them, gave them a bath, and then read them a bedtime story. John fell asleep quickly. But Anna stayed up for awhile as she clung to her father. She was so much like Amy in her actions and the way she looked. It brought tears to Ricky's eyes but he wiped them away. He rocked Anna for a while and then he placed her in her bed and tucked her in. Then he gave her a kiss on her forehead and left her bedroom and went out into the living room. He sat down on the couch and he looked around the room. So much of Amy surrounded him. There were dozens of pictures all around him of her and their life together. There were a few from their wedding. Some of just several moments they had shared together and with the kids. And some with their vacation to Hawii. And most recently a new one of them and the kids at Adrian's wedding five months ago. So much had changed in those five months.

It had been another month since Amy had woken up and had lost her memory. Amy was doing well physically. She was twenty-seven weeks pregnant and all was well with the pregnancy. She was beginning to get memories of the past six years that she had lost. But just flashes here and there. Ricky visited her everyday. They were slowly introducing her to her memories. He brought pictures and the kids with him. Her parents and Ashley helped a lot cause she remembered them and she trusted them and that had extended out to him mostly cause Amy's parents and sister trusted him so Amy was beginning to trust him too. Tomorrow was a big day for everyone. Amy was coming home for the first time in over a month and Ricky hoped it would help her remember more if she was her in her home with him and their children.

The next morning Ricky drove the kids to the Juergens house and dropped them off so that he could pick up Amy by himself. He thought it might be a little easier that way maybe and then George and Anne would bring the kids by later in the day after Amy was settled in. Ricky drove to the hospital and parked. He went in and made his way to Amy's room. He knocked on the door and heard Amy say come in. He opened the door. She was all packed and dressed to go. Ricky noticed she had put her rings on her right hand instead of her left hand.

Amy noticed as Ricky stared at her rings on the wrong hand. She looked up at him and met his eyes. She felt her heart skip a beat as she stared into his eyes. They were a mystery but she felt like she was looking at something so familiar at the same time. "I thought maybe until I remember us I would put them on that hand. I'll change it back after that. I hope you okay with that. I am... I mean I just want to remember our love and our life together before I am ready to make such a physical symbol of us." Amy said with such innoncence and naive to her voice. It reminded Ricky of when she was fifteen pregnant with John all over again. But he reminded himself that Amy would remember who she was and her life with him and their family together.

"It's okay. Are you already to go then?" Ricky said as he looked at her bag.

"Yeah I think so. " She said as Ricky went over and picked up her suitcase. Then they both left her room and went to the desk where they discharged Amy and then they made their way out to the SUV.

"Wow that's yours?" Amy said admiring the red SUV.

"No actually it's yours. You've had for over five years. I own a prius. But I thought maybe this would be more familiar to you or at least I hoped it would be. Go ahead and get in the passenger seat the door is unlocked. So Amy did as Ricky opened the back door and put her suitcase in the back and then closed the door and got into the drivers seat and started the car. Then he backed out of the stall and made the journey to their apartment. It was a short ride but it was a quiet ride. Amy didn't know what she was supposed to say so she didn't say anything at all. And Ricky kept his mind on the road as they drove to their apartment. He parked her SUV next to his car in their second parking stall. Then Amy got out. She looked around as Ricky came back with her suitcase. Amy felt such fear running through her body when she started at the staircase. She couldn't bring herself to take a step.

Ricky saw the fear in her eyes as she stared at the second story of their apartment building. "It's ok Amy. It's all going to be fine. I know your scared but you will remember in time. I know this is very scary and unfamiliar. But I am here for you. All of our friends and family are here for you. I promise I will protect you as much as I can. I love you so much Amy. You are my whole life." Ricky said as he gave her a smile.

"I just feel like something horrible happened here. I can't shake that feeling off." Amy said as she continued to stare at the staircase.

Then Ricky understood what she meant. She wasn't remembering but yet she was somehow someway deep down inside she knew. She knew that something bad had happened there before. "That's where you fell when you lost your memory. But I won't let you fall again. Here take my hand and I will make sure you get up there safe. I promise." Ricky said as he held out his hand to her. Amy then took his hand and they both climbed the stairs slowly. Then when they reached the top they opened the main door and walked down the hallway. Then Ricky unlocked their apartment front door. He let Amy in first and he followed with her suitcase. Amy stopped as she saw all the pictures and memories waiting for her there.

She stopped and took it all in around her. She saw pictures of their life together for the past six years that she had forgotten. She felt tears roll down her cheeks and she felt weak so she sat down on the couch near her and wiped away the tears that had fallen down.

"I am sorry it's just so much to take in all at once. I mean I want to remember all of it. I want to remember us. But there's just so much I have lost. Time I can't get seem to get back. But I want too."

"It's alright Amy your doctor said just take each moment as it comes and when you have questions ask and we all will try to fill in the blanks as much as we all can. This is will all work out." Ricky said as he gave her smile while still trying to convince himself. It hurt his heart to see her so lost and confused from the Amy he knew she was. But deep down that Amy was inside her and she would come again when she remembered what she had lost.

"I know but it's so not fair. I can't remember my son or my daughter. I can't remember our relationship and the love we shared. And the night we conceived this little one." Amy said as she put her hand on her extended stomach with a loving look on her face.

"You will. You have to be patient. Remember what the doctor said if you get upset and angry you might continue to not remember but if you relax and slowly try to remember you should have a better chance of regaining your memories of the past six years." Ricky said as he sat down her. He picked up her hand and put it up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

Then he gently placed his hand on her belly and lovingly caressed her belly. Amy felt uncertain about this. She didn't really know Ricky but yet she felt safe with him. She couldn't explain it but she trusted him. So she relaxed as he continued. Then slowly he placed his lips to the top of her belly and kissed it. Amy could tell that he loved this baby already even before it was born and that must mean that he loved her very much.

Ricky then put his head up and placed his lips gently on Amy's. He kissed her softly at first and then with a more fierce longing and need. He missed her so much. Not being able to hold her, kiss her, and just share a close moment with her was very hard for him. Amy kissed him back at first but then she pulled back and stared at him for a long moment.

"Amy are you ok?" Ricky said as he looked into her eyes.

"I remember we were in my room at my parents house. And we were near each other. It was an awkward moment but you said we were friends and that we could kiss each other and then we kissed a long deep kiss. " Amy said as she was trying to put the pieces together.  
>FOr "Yes that's right. That was after you had John and some people were saying you were a bad kisser and I offered to help you practice. And you were not and are not a bad kisser. I love the way you kiss." Ricky said with a twinkle in his eye.<p>

"Where was Ben? Did he say that?" Amy asked innocently. Ricky felt another jab at his heart put tried to brush it aside.

"You broke up with Ben and he broke up with you." Ricky told her.

"Where is Ben now? No one talks about him and he hasn't come to visit either." Amy asked again.

"Amy we shouldn't talk about this just yet. Give it some more time and then I will tell you all about it. But it's too soon I think." Ricky said quickly.

"I want to know please tell me?" Amy said with her eyes pleading. Ricky knew he couldn't refuse her when she did that.

"Ben died a while back after he was in a bad car accident. I am sorry. They tried to save him but they just couldn't." Ricky told her quietly.

Amy began crying and crying. Ricky held her in his arms. The loss for Amy was all new again like it had been that day it had happened. While for everyone else they had accepted it and had grieved their loss and moved on but for Amy everything was all new again. 


	5. Trying To Make The Pieces Fit

Amy had finally calmed down after a few minutes. Her heart hurt from all that she couldn't remember and the things that she now knew that she wished she could now forget. But she could not they were a part of her memory. Ricky held her and rocked her in his arms. He loved her so much and to see her hurting so much hurt him so deep down inside that he wished he could take it all away. But he knew he could not he knew she had to feel it all and he could only be there for her.

A while later Amy got up and began to explore the apartment. First she came to what must be John's room. It was decorated in cars and planes. John was into all boys stuff that was for sure. She sat down on his bed. She picked up the picture on the nightstand near the bed. It was a picture of Ricky and John. They were both smiling for the camera. They both looked so happy and so full of life. Amy held the picture to her chest and then she laid on the bed and she cried as she clung to the picture. She didn't even know her own children. How could she have forgotten her kids? She wanted to remember them so much. Everytime they came to visit her they were so happy and trusting of her. They were her whole life along with Ricky. How did anyone forget the ones they loved so much in their life.

Ricky walked by and he saw Amy laying down on John's bed and she was cradling the picture of him and John to her chest and she was sobbing again. Ricky knocked on the door and he walked into the room. He went to the end of the bed and he laid down behind Amy and he snuggled next to her. Then he put his arms around her and gave her a gently hug.

"Amy what's wrong honey?" Ricky asked softly.

"I just can't...I can't remember any of it. I keep trying but theres just nothing there at all. I just cannot believe I could forget my family. How could I do that Ricky?" Amy said as she arched her neck and looked back at him.

"Sweetheart you had no control over any of this. It was an accident. And even if you never remember the past and I am willing to start over so you can get to know me all over again and the kids too. And I promise you will start to feel a part of our family again. Cause you never left us. We always will love you and want you as a part of our lives forever and always." Ricky said as he placed a kiss on her temple.

Amy cuddled closer to Ricky. She felt so safe with him. So she just let herself go with her feelings and not worry about that she didn't really know him. They fell asleep like that for a few hours. Amy slept deeply but then her dreams overtook her sleep. She began to dream of a horrible nightmare that made her feel chilled to the bone.

She was in the hospital and she saw Adrian come out of a room. She was covered in blood and she looked like she was falling apart. And as Adrian came toward her and then she collapsed. Amy cried out for help and she tried to get Adrian up but she could not lift her. Then she felt like she was falling. And then she just screamed and screamed.

"Adrian! Come back Adrian!" Amy yelled out in her sleep. Ricky shook Amy and she finally woke up.

"Amy your ok and so is Adrian. It was just a bad dream honey. Why don't we get up and I can show you around the rest of the apartment. Unless your tired and you want to sleep some more?" Ricky told her in a soft voice.

"NO! I mean that would be nice." Amy said as she didn't want the nightmares anymore.

Ricky got up off the little bed and then he helped Amy up. Then he took her into Anna's room. Her room was decorated in butterflies and pink roses. It was a sweet little girl's bedroom. Amy touched Anna's bed and her blankets. And then she admired the beautiful painted furniture in her bedroom. Amy tried to remember Anna but she could only remember the last few weeks since she had seen Anna for her visits at the hospital. She was a beautiful little girl. She looked a lot like her Amy thought to herself. She saw a picture of Anna and John and they looked so much alike and anyone could tell they both loved each other very much.

Ricky walked up behind Amy and he watched her closely. He saw several expressions cross her face. Love, happiness, sadness, and even pain at one point. He could tell she was examining every ince of the room and everything that it contained. Amy touched the dresser and then Anna's bed and then she picked up Anna's brown stuffed bunny rabbit and held it close to her.

"Why don't we keep moving on." Ricky said as he and Amy left Anna's room and then went into the master bedroom. Amy stopped at the doorway. She realized that this was her and Ricky's bedroom. It was a very intimate place that they had shared the most intimate things betwteen each other. Amy took the room in. There was a queen sized bed. It had a soft navy blue comforter and big frilly pillows decorated on top. There were two nightstands. Each one had a black based lamp. On one nightstand was book, nailpolish and a woman's purse. On the other was a magazine, a pocket knife and a man's wallet. The room was decorated with pictures of nature. A large painting with the mountains and a beautiful sky was over the bed and several other nature scenes covered the walls.

"I don't know... I mean maybe me staying here wasn't the best idea after all. I mean I can't. I am not ready for this." Amy said as she felt her cheeks blush as she began to think of what might happen in the near future.

"Amy it's okay I am gonna sleep on the couch and your going to sleep in the bedroom. I wouldn't.. I know that your not ready for that yet." Ricky said as he took the thoughts out of her mind and answered them.

"Ok. As long as your fine with that?" Amy said as she looked into his eyes. She saw something behind them. It was as if someone had lit them afire and then threw cold water on it. Amy felt horrible but she just was not ready for that.

"Yeah that will work out. Amy I know this is hard for you but you are doing great. Do you have anything you would like to ask me?" Ricky said as he took in her puzzled expression on her face.

"Yes. I was wondering something. When did we... I mean when did we get together after Ben and I broke up and I am assuming you and Adrian broke up too? How long after that?" Amy said out loud what she had been thinking for a while.

"Well yes we did break up and you broke up too. You went away to a music program in New York near the end of your sophmore year. After a while I flew up to see you and we spent the weekend talking and we decided to try to give our relationship a chance since Ben and Adrian were no longer in the picture. We dated for a bout a year or so and then we got engaged at my graduation. It would of been the end of your junior year. And we got married the following year afterward." Ricky said as a smile crossed his face at the wonderful memories. But then he stared over at Amy who's face was clouded with a puzzled look again on her face.

"We were happy right though?" Amy asked.

"Yes we were very happy and continued to still be very happy. We have settled into a wonderful family life and I know you were very happy with the way our lives turned out as was I. I could not imagine my life without you or the kids and I never want to either." Ricky tried to hide his hurt that she thought that they might not have been happy together.

Ricky went over to the stereo and put on a slow song on. Then he went back over to Amy and pulled her close to him and then he began to dance slowly. Amy leaned her head into his shoulder and let him lead. Then a vision hit Amy. She was in a black dress and Ricky was wearing a suit and they were dancing at a dance with other people. And Amy saw that they were smiling and laughing. Amy pulled back from Ricky for a moment as the memory hit her fast.

"Amy what's wrong?" Ricky asked her.

" I remembered that we were at a dance maybe at the school and you held me close like now and we were laughing and smiling. We looked so happy and content. I could feel the love between us. It was so powerful and true. Ricky did that really happen?" Amy said as tears slid down her face.

"Yeah it was my senior dance and I did not want to go but you did so I decided to go with you after all. As I recall we stayed about an hour and it was the best dance I have ever been too. Except our wedding day of course. That's the night we conceived Anna." Ricky said as his eyes were filled with love and hope.

"I bet it was a wonderful night over all for everyone. I just wish I could remember it. Ricky I felt our love right here in my heart. It hit me like a freight train and I felt like I loved you more than anyone in this whole world. And I could feel your love for me. I love you Ricky. I cannot remember but I will keep trying until I do. And I promise to keep fighting for us always. I mean it I really love you." Amy said as Ricky closed the gap and he kissed her with such passion and love. But Amy didn't pull back put enjoyed the kiss.


	6. Family and Memories

After Amy was a little more settled later in the day a knock came at the door. Ricky got up from the table where he and Amy had just finished eating a small lunch. He opened the door and saw George, Anne, Robbie, Ashley with John and Anna. John and Anna ran happily into Ricky's arms. Ricky got down and scooped them both up into his arms. He gave them both a kiss ontop their heads.

"Amy you have a few visitors. It's your family." Ricky said as he heard footsteps and then saw Amy as she came up behind him. She put a huge smile as she saw everyone there.

"Mom. Dad. Ashley! Oh and Robbie of course." She said enthusiastically and then she hugged each and every one them with a huge hug.

"Hey Ames. So how are you settling into your home?" George said as he gave her a big smile. He was so happy to see her doing better from the fall and only hoped she would soon regain the last few years she had lost.

"Um...it is going ok. Still do not remember living here. But I am starting to remember bits and pieces here and there. It's been hard to make sense of everything, but Rickys been helping me to fill in the blanks." Amy said as she looked over at Ricky and gave him one of her little smiles that she did so often. It made Ricky smile.

Anna began to put her arms out toward Amy and squirm in Ricky's arms. Then she said,"Mommy!" Amy then turned to Ricky and carefully picked up Anna into her arms. Anna happy to be back with her mother snuggled close to her. Amy patted Anna's back. Amy felt unsure if she was holding Anna the right way or if she even should be. But Ricky gave her a huge smile and Amy smiled back. She felt more confident if he felt she was doing what she should be. It felt good to hold her little girl next to her. She wanted to remember every part of her beautiful baby girl starting now.

"She is so beautiful. I cannot get over it. To think we created two beautiful children and another one on the way. It just blows my mind." Amy said as she looked over at John who was now standing next to Ricky. Amy then saw Ricky staring at her with a deep longing in his eyes. Amy felt her cheeks get red from embarassment. She could only imagine what Ricky must be thinking.

"Oh Amy we brought these hoping that it might help you remember." Anne said as she handed Amy a bag. Amy looked down inside of the bag and saw several photo albums and a couple of yearbooks.

"Thanks mom. I hope they do." Amy put the bag down and then went over to her mom and gave her another hug. She had to carefully lean in to her mother because of Anna and her belly.

"Your welcome Amy. I love you so much." Anne said as she pulled back and wiped away tears from her eyes.

"Mom don't cry. It's all gonna be good in time. I love you too please try not to worry." Amy told her mother as she saw the tears from her eyes.

"That is not it. I was just thinking how close we all could have lost you and your baby Amy. I could not even imagine..." Anne said but stopped herself as she noticed Ricky's face filled with deep pain at the thought and the realization. It took Anne a moment to understand at first she thought maybe he was thinking the same as her. But in fact Ricky had lost a part of Amy cause she did not remember him or their life together yet. So Anne tried to switch the subject.

"So are you still decided on not finding out the sex of the baby?" Anne said to Amy.

"Um...I did not realize we had decided that." Amy said as she looked over at Ricky again. He gave her the best smile he could after the last moment.

"Yea. We have not talked about that yet. We still have to decide on names for a boy or a girl. Amy why don't you go sit down. You have to be tired holding Anna." Ricky said as he noticed Amy's drop in energy and that Anna had fallen fast asleep at finally being reunited with her mother in her arms. The place where she felt safe and warm.

Ricky helped Amy sit down on the couch and then he took a seat next to her. While George, Anne, and Ashley took a seat on the other couch. Robbie and John had gone into John's bedroom and were playing with his toys.

"Well did you talk about names before this?" Anne asked toward Ricky.

"Yeah but nothing was decided on. Amy liked the names: Emma, Olivia, Hannah, and Ella for a girl. And for a boy: Noah, Luke, Ryan, and Caleb." Ricky said as he remembered their conversation about names a few weeks before Amy's accident.

Amy looked down at her belly and shock crossed her face. She put her hand on her belly and she had tears streaming down her face. Ricky fearing what was happening moved closer to her. "Amy what's wrong?" Ricky asked with a very worried voice.

"The baby moved. I wasn't sure before but that was definatly the baby kicking a moment ago." Amy said as she patted the spot lovingly.

Ricky sighed with relief. "May I?" Ricky asked Amy.

Amy turned and saw Ricky's face filled with wonder, relief, and caution. Then she did something that surprised everyone she reached over and grabbed Ricky's hand and then gently placed his hand where their baby had just kicked. They waited for a moment and then Ricky felt a movement under his hand. His face filled with awe and wonder at the miracle of life that Amy held within her. A life they both wanted so much.

"That is so wonderful." Ricky said as he continued to wait for the baby to move again, and then it did almost as if the baby was responding to his voice. That made him smile.

"Have you not felt it before with our first two children?" Amy asked in confusion.

"Um with John we weren't together and Anna I was deployed most of your pregnancy. But yes with Anna toward the end I did feel her kick. I only did once with John. You were upset. And I hugged you. I felt John move against my stomach when I held you. It was a strange but unique feeling." Ricky said to Amy.

Then Amy remembered being in the hallway and Ricky was talking with her as she was getting something from her locker. He said something and Amy started to cry. Then Ricky embraced her in a tight hug. Amy had to be remembering that moment. Or maybe she was playing off what Ricky had just said. Ricky pulled back from Amy's stomach and then he turned to Anne and George who had become silent as they watched everything going on.

"Yea. I would love to know the sex of the baby but we decided originally to wait. I am not so sure anymore. What do you think Amy? What is your heart telling you?"

Amy stopped to think for a moment. She gently stroked the top of her belly. The child within had become that more real to her. She knew that this child was meant to be and Ricky and she both wanted this baby so bad. And when Amy thought about how easily she could have lost the baby. She had to think positively not about what could have happened anymore but of the future.

"Yea. I would love to know what were having. So that we can give this little one a name and not have to keep calling the baby he or she." Amy smiled at Ricky again.

"Well you have an appointment in two days with your doctor. We will ask him if he wouldn't mind doing an ultrasound as well." Ricky said.

A few hours later Amy was asleep in her bed. Her dreams were very real and terrifying. She was remembering a moment that she would rather not remember. She was in a black dress and holding a baby dressed in pink. And Ricky was there too and so was John. She saw all the sad faces. Then she noticed the picture of Ben nearby. Oh God Amy realizing she was at Ben's funeral. She left Ricky's side and walked away. She had to get out of this place. Then she noticed everyone circled around her and she couldn't get out. She didn't recognize anyone. She looked over the circle of people and saw Ricky with John frantically trying to get to her and the baby.

"Amy! Come back Amy! Don't leave us we need you. I need you." Ricky yelled at her with such devastation in his voice.

Then everyone around her started to say things to her and she felt more horrible with each thing they said, "How could you forget them? Don't you love them anymore? Why would anyone forget the ones they love? Why try to run from them? Why didn't you stay with them?" Amy felt herself collapse as she tried to protect the small child in her arms. Then Amy woke up in sweats as Ricky frantically was shaking her.

"Amy your ok. It's all going to be fine. I am here honey. I won't let anyone get you." Ricky said as he stroked her hair.

"Ricky will stay with me tonight?" Amy said.

"Are you sure?" Ricky asked.

Amy thought about it for a moment. "Yes I want you to be near me. You make me feel safe."

Ricky then got into bed where he would normally sleep and he curled up next to Amy as she leaned in closer to him. He then wrapped his arms around her protectively. Amy felt safe again and no more nightmares invaded her sleep. She only slept contently. For the first time in a while she slept deeply with no dreams or nightmares. And Ricky felt wonderful to have his wife the woman he loved so much close to him again.  
> <p>


	7. Challenges and Surprises

The next morning Amy awoke. Ricky's arms were still around her and one of his hands was placed gently on her stomach. Amy slowly moved Ricky's hands and got up out of the bed. Then she left the room and went into the bathroom. Amy looked into the mirror. She touched her now short hair that had been cut after the accident. Then she began to examine her belly. She turned several different ways in the mirror and noticed that from the time she had woke up from the coma her belly had grown. She stroked her belly for a few minutes. Then Amy started the shower after a few minutes. It took her a while to figure out how to turn it on but she did. Then she got in and let the warm water soak all over and she ran her head under the steady stream of water. Then as she did another memory hit her.

She was in a shop. She was holding John and Ricky came in right behind them with an umbrella that was soaked. And Amy noticed they were all a little wet. She saw Ricky give her a key and told her to let herself in. Ricky then said he would go get a suitcase. But Amy noticed she was carrying John's suitcase already. Then Ben came over and said hi and said something about the rain and that the party got washed out. And then he said he didn't realize it was going to be a sleepover party. And then Ricky, Amy, and John left the shop and went up some stairs until they were in an apartment. Amy felt like she should know this place. Then Amy came back out of her memory as she heard someone open the bathroom door.

"Hello?" Amy asked in a panic.

"It's me honey. I just came to check up on you. I heard the water running and I didn't hear you moving around and I just got scared. I am sorry to intrude I just had to make sure that your were alright." Ricky said.

Amy couldn't see him because she was behind the shower curtain but she could hear the concern in his voice. "I'll be out in just a few minutes. Thank you for checking on me." Amy told him. Then she heard him close the door behind him.

Ricky left the bathroom unsure of what to say or do. It seemed like he was not sure how his life fit with hers anymore. They had once been so intertwined and happy lives together. But Ricky felt that the strings that once so tight were only being held together by just a few strands. And he didn't know where to go from there. But he told himself he would keep trying to no matter how long it took. Ricky then went to the kitchen and started to make breakfast. He looked at his watch it was seven o' clock in the morning. He knew John and Anna would still be asleep for another half hour or so.

A half hour later they were all up and seated at the kitchen table eating breakfast. John was so excited and Anna was talking a mile a minute. Ricky was feeding Anna as well. Amy felt like a stranger though. She felt like she was intruding on someone else's family. How could she feel that way? She knew this was her family she just wished she didn't feel this way. She wanted to feel like she belonged and knew everything about her children and he stranger who was her husband. They had made a few tiny steps toward that but Amy felt as if they were miles away from that. Amy continued to eat silently as she took in everyone and everything around her.

After everyone finished eating Ricky took took the kids to get cleaned up and dressed. While Ricky was doing that Amy walked into the living room and sat on the couch and pulled the albums out of the bag. She noticed the first one. She quickly noticed each picture. They were of her and her parents and Ashley when she was little. She moved onto another. It was of her and her friends and some of her and John and even some of her and Ben. Then she noticed a third. It was pictures of her and John at first. But then there were a ton of her and Ricky. And then Ricky, John, and herself. There were pictures at the apartment from her recent memory. Pictures from her house of them. Pictures of them at a dance, and at a graduation. Amy looked closer at a particular photo. It was of Ricky in cap and gown and he was holding Amy in a very close embrace and they were kissing with such love, such passion, and such intensity that Amy felt as if she was intruding again. Then Amy looked back at the pictures of her and Ben. Amy felt like it was more of a casual relationship. She knew she had loved Ben. But had she really been in love with him? She noticed how different she was in two relationships between Ben and Ricky. It was if Ricky lit a fire inside of her. Amy felt her cheeks turn red at that thought.

Then Ricky came into the room and he noticed that she was looking at a picture of her and Ben. Then he noticed one of himself and Amy nearby. He sat down next to her. He saw her blushing. He only hoped she was blushing at their picture, not the picture of her and Ben. Ricky didn't want to feel jealous of Ben. Ben was his friend, a very good friend. They had had their differences but in the end after John had got sick they put them aside and found a good place of friendship between them. Now Ben was gone and that was so sad for everyone. Ricky brushed the thought aside.

"Will we ever be like this again Ricky?" Amy said as she pointed to the picture at his graduation.

"I believe so. You said your starting to remember so that is hopeful and even if you do not remember me or us ever we will start all over again. We will date, and take it slow so we can get to know one another again. That way you can get to know me all over again." Ricky said as he picked her hand up in his own.

"Yeah we could try that. I feel very safe with you Ricky, I just cannot remember being in love with you and having our wonderful life and our children together but I am willing to keep trying." Amy said aloud.

"Me too." Ricky said as he kissed her hand.

The following day Amy and Ricky were at her doctor's office for a checkup visit. At first Ricky was not sure if he should come in the room with Amy. But Amy surprised him and grabbed his hand and he followed her into the examining room. Although he left again after Amy got into a gown for the visit but then he came back in when she was changed. After Amy was in a gown and ready for the exam the doctor came into the room. The doctor was then getting ready to prepare to do an ultrasound. Amy's shirt was pulled back and her belly was exposed. Ricky held her hand out of habit. Amy felt a little embarassed but she knew Ricky had already seen her belly and she shouldn't feel that way. She gave him a big smile. Then the doctor moved the machine over Amy's belly and finally he gave them a huge smile.

"Well congrats are in order mom and dad. Your having another little girl." Dr. Klein told Ricky and Amy.

Amy felt her face break into a huge smile and Ricky's smile matched hers. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then Ricky and Amy both stared back at the screen and watched as their baby was moving on the the screen. And then Amy looked back at Ricky with tears in her eyes. It was such an overpowing feeling of love she felt for the little girl inside of her. A life so meant to be. Ricky had tears coming down his face as well. Then Amy took his hands into her own and she smiled even though she was crying but they were tears of great joy and love not of sadness. 


	8. Finding Out Things You Once Knew

Ricky and Amy sat in the car and both were awe struck and amazed. They both stared at the latest ultrasound picture of their baby girl. Amy then put her hand on her belly again. The baby was very active and moving around. It made it seem so real to Amy knowing that the life she carried was alive and moving and now to know that it was a little girl made it even better. Ricky sat and watched Amy closely. He watched her face, her movements, and just the sparkle that now filled her eyes at the news they had gotten.

"I just cannot believe were having a little girl. I mean I knew the baby was real everytime I felt them move or kick but not until today did I think of him or her as being a seperate little person. But she is. She will have her own emotions, and likes and dislikes, and she will be a part of me. That is a very powerful feeling to have." Amy said as she felt the realization hit her.

"Yeah it is. But it will also be a wonderful gift. You will come to see her as a unique individual as you already are. But she will do what she thinks is right and what she loves. All we can do is help her shape her beliefs and what is right and wrong but I believe they all have their own personality already. But we've been very lucky we got wonderful kids and she will be just as wonderful too." Ricky said with a smile on his face.

"I think I am finally figuring that out. Hey I wanted to ask you something. Would you take me to the beach where we got married? I mean maybe it will trigure some more memories. I just want to see it." Amy said quietly.

"Yes I think that is not a bad idea at all, in fact I think that it is a fantastic idea." Ricky said as he started the car and then he drove away from the medical clinic and got on the highway. He was touched that she would think of it and want to see a place that was so dear and close to their hearts.

After about an hour long drive Ricky pulled into a parking lot. Ricky turned the engine off and the pulled the keys out of the ignition. He got out of the car and went over and helped Amy get out of the car. Then after a bit of a walk Ricky stood still and let go of Amy's hand. Amy took in the breathtaking view of the bluest sky and crisp clean blue water in front of her. The white clouds rolled by and she could feel the wind against her face. The smells of the seas filled her senses and she let herself feel everything. Amy closed her eyes and imagined a group of people surrounding them as she and Ricky said their vows and became husband and wife. She was in a strapless full sized ball gown in her vision and her hair was up in curls and Ricky was in a black tux. But still it didn't feel real as she imagined it. She just couldn't remember the actual memory of that day.

But then a vision hit her. They were in room and Ricky and her were on the bed and he was pulling her dress over her head. It wasn't the dress she had just envisioned but a simple white flowing dress with small straps and a v-neck line that fit her figure perfecly and Ricky was in a simple suit. It felt more right. And then Ricky began to take off his suit jacket and then his white shirt. And his lips found hers. And then just like that the vision left her.

"Amy?" Ricky said.

"I remembered our wedding night. We were in a room and we on the bed and kissing and..." Amy stopped and blushed at the thought.

"Yeah it was a great night. That was the night we conceived Anna. It is a night I will remember always, because it was our first night together as husband and wife." Ricky said as he also remembered that same night.

"Yeah it must have been." Amy said as she sat down on the beach. Ricky sat down next to her and they sat there quietly for a few minutes. The sun was beginning to set and covered the earth with beautiful colors.

"Amy is this working for you? I want you to be comfortable as you are trying to remember our life and everything that you lost. Cause if it isn't we can always figure out something else if you want too." Ricky said as he stared at the sand by his feet.

"Ricky I do not know what is best for me. But I do know that I want to stay where I am. I am remembering slowly and I do not want to disturb that at all. And the baby will be here in just under thirteen weeks. This is my home even if I do not remember it or us. I still feel a connection with you and the kids. That's enough for me at least for now. " Amy said as she took Ricky's hand in her own and gave it a squeeze.

"Ok then we will keep things as they are." Ricky said and then Amy leaned into closer to him and Ricky put his arm around her shoulder. They sat there until the sun went down and the dark of night filled them all around. Then they both walked back to the car and drove home for the night. Amy's parents offered to take care of John and Anna for the next couple of days so that Ricky and Amy could spend some time getting to know each other again.

That night Amy laid in bed alone. She fell asleep after a long exhausting day. And then she began to dream again of memories buried deep down. She was walking up onto a stage. Ricky got down on one knee and opened a box with a diamond ring inside and he asked her to marry him. She said yes and he put the ring on her finger and then they shared a deep kiss. And then Amy moved Ricky's tassle on his graduation cap from one side to the other. Then Amy went to another memory a very sad one. She was in a hospital room sitting on the bed next to Adrian. Her arms were around and Adrian and she told her how sorry she was and Adrian was crying. And then Amy went to another memory were she and Adrian were talking and Adrian looked exhausted and worn out and Adrian said something about her loving Ben and wanting to stay with him. And then Amy awoke as the memories hit her quickly. She looked over at the clock and it said 4:57 A.M. Amy then laid back down and tried to sleep but the memories felt so real like they had happened to her and those closest to her but they didn't seem to make sense to her. She decided that she would ask Ricky in the morning about them. And after another hour she fell asleep again.

The next morning Amy and Ricky were sitting at the kitchen table and eating breakfast. Amy kept thinking about what she had dreamed the night before and she just could not get it out of her head. She finished her meal and then she turned toward Ricky who was still eating. "Ricky I want to ask you something. Were Adrian and Ben you know together?" Amy asked as she stared at Ricky watching him.

Ricky stopped dead in his tracks. He knew she would ask about this someday but not expecting it so soon though. He turned to her and swallowed his last bite of food he had taken. "Yes they were." he told her quickly.

"What!" Amy said loudly.

"After you and Ben broke up you saw this guy Jimmy for a bit and he didn't call you right away so you thought you were a bad kisser. I offered to practice with you and so we kissed. Adrian found out only she thought we slept together and she and Ben had sex. Then she got pregnant and they got married, only the baby didn't make it. Ben and Adrian broke up and started divorce proceedings only to stay married and then they had another baby Hope. Only Ben died before he knew about his daughter. It was a long and hard time for everyone." Ricky said all at once.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that in the beginning if it was no big deal anymore." Amy said angrily.

"Because I didn't want to upset you. Amy you have a lot going on now and your doctor told you and me that you need to avoid stress as much as possible. And it is not good for the baby either. I love you Amy I was only trying to protect you." Ricky said as he looked into angry but sad eyes.

"I just cannot believe all of this. I feel like I am in some horrible nightmare and I just want to remember but I can't at least not all of it right away but I am slowly starting to." Amy said a little less angry.

"Amy take a deep breath. Please try to come down. I know that this is very hard for you." Ricky said as he picked up Amy's hand.

Amy pulled her hand out of Ricky's quickly, " I am angry. I am really angry about all of this. I feel like you lied to me. How am I supposed to trust you after that? And this is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Not that you would understand that."

"Amy I did not lie to you, I just kept it from you there is a difference. And this is very hard for me too Amy. Imagine the woman you love and are married to all of a sudden doesn't remember you or the special times you shared together. And also imagine she is still hung up on an old boyfriend cause that's all she can remember. That is very hard Amy. I love you but it still does not make this any easier." Ricky told her with hurt in his eyes.

Amy then got closer to Ricky and put her arm on his shoulder. "I am sorry Ricky. I just get so frustrated by all the new things I keep learning about. It is really hard for me too. And I want this too work. I really do but I don't know if it will. But we will keep trying."

Ricky turned to Amy and he put his hands on either side of her head and he put his lips to hers and gave her a deep, long, and very passionite kiss. Amy parted out of breath. And for a while they just sat there and stared into each others eyes. Amy then turned away. It was such a powerful kiss and it meant something a lot more than just a kiss between the two of them. 


	9. Trying to Save A Life

Later that day Amy laid in her bed and she cried and cried. She cried for all the hurt she was going through and all that Ricky was too. And she didn't know how to make it better, but she wanted too so badly. Ricky had left for a few hours to check up on John and Anna. He didn't want to leave Amy alone so he had asked Adrian to come over and stay with her. But when she got there Amy didn't know what to say to her. So she told her she needed to lay down for a while.

Amy then heard on a knock on the door. Amy wiped her face and then told them to come in. The door opened and it was Adrian. She went over to the other side of the bed and sat down next to Amy. Then Adrian grabbed tissues from her pocket and handed them to Amy. Amy took them and wiped her face.

"Amy I know your having a very difficult time with not remembering but we are all here for you. I am your friend and you helped me with some of the hardest times in my life and I hope you will let me help you too." Adrian said with worry in her voice.

"I cannot believe you would hurt me or Ricky like that. Why would you do something like that Adrian?" Amy turned toward her and asked her.

"What do you mean?" Adrian asked confused.

"You slept with Ben when you were still with Ricky." Amy said as she looked at her.

"Oh. I never meant to hurt you Amy. I meant to hurt Ricky. Only I now know it did hurt you and I am truly sorry for that. We had put that behind us. But I guess you can't remember that. I am not that girl anymore. I am married to a wonderful man and we have three kids between us. And were about to add another one." Adrian said trying to lighten the mood.  
>Amy sat there and stared at Adrian who she could only remember as being Ricky's girlfriend. And she looked so happy and she could see the hurt in her eyes from all the bad stuff and she was looking for forgiveness. Amy sighed and looked down at her stomach. Their family deserved every chance to succeed and Amy knew what she had to do even if she really wasn't sure she should at that moment.<p>

"I forgive you Adrian." Amy told her after a long moment of pause.

"Thank you Amy." Adrian said and then she pulled Amy into a hug.

"So how far along are you?" Amy asked.

"Um about thirteen weeks. We found out a few days before your accident. It's just been such a difficult time for everyone. But Bryan and I are so happy and I can't wait to see our baby and who they willl look like when they are born. I never knew I could have this in my life and I owe that to you Amy. After Ben died you made me want to get out of bed and get out there and continue to live my life even though it hurt so much and I know I can never thank you enough. It just means a lot to me." Adrian said quietly.

"Thank you Adrian. I hope we can put all of this behind us. I want us to be friends but it is hard when I keep learning these things that are hurtful to me. So I am gonna try to keep an open mind when I remember or learn new things and keep in mind they happened some time ago and try to know that I already knew about them once and I overcame them." Amy said to Adrian.

"Thanks. I needed to hear that from you." Adrian said.

Amy stopped and she put her hand on her stomach and her face filled with pain. Adrian stared at her for an instant and then fear filled her when she saw Amy bent over with a look of deep pain all over her face.

"Amy what's wrong?" Adrian said.

"Somethings wrong. Aww." Amy said as she clutched her stomach.

"Hold on Amy I'll get you to the hospital." Adrian said as she got up from the bed.

Adrian just got Amy out of the front door and was getting ready to take her down the stairs to her car. Amy stopped and wouldn't go any further. Fear filled her from this place and fear for the life of their baby. "Amy we have to go now." Adrian told her as she held her.

Amy took a deep breath and took a few steps down the stairs. She held onto Adrian and the railing tightly. Finally Adrian got Amy into her car and she got in and drove toward the hospital. Adrian then handed Amy her cell phone and told her to call Ricky. Amy found his number in her contacts and hit call. It rang for a bit and then she heard him pick up the phone. "Ricky somethings wrong with the baby. You need to come to the hospital. Awww!" Amy said and then stopped from the pain.

"Amy! Amy?" Ricky said in a panic.

"Ricky, you need to get to the hospital we are on our way now. I need you to stay calm and we will see you as soon as you get there." Adrian's voice said into the phone.

"How is she?" Ricky asked.

"I don't know just hurry ok?" Adrian said into the phone.

"Ok I am on my way." Ricky said as he was already in his car and leaving.

Ricky ran into the hospital and up to the front desk of the emergency room. He waited for the nurse to get off the phone and when she did he asked her, "My wife Amy Underwood was brought in with pains. She is twenty-eight weeks pregnant." Ricky said in a panic.

The woman typed some information into the computer and it took a moment but then she found what she was looking for and she turned back to Ricky, "She's up in labor and delivery in room 203 on the third floor and you can go right up."

Ricky ran to the elevator and hit the third floor button. Finally after a few minutes he was at Amy's hospital door. He walked into the room and he saw Amy hooked up to several machines. Amy looked over at him. Then she held out her hand to him. He walked up to her and took it into his own. The doctor and the nurse were going over some results and information. Ricky looked at Amy. She looked so pale and tired.

"Amy we have done and ultrasound and a complete exam and history. You are in preterm labor. Your cervix is still closed but you are having contractions on a regular basis. Now we do not want you to deliver only at 28 weeks it is much to soon for the baby. So we are starting you on some medication to stop your labor and were also going to give the baby something to help their lungs just in case we cannot stop the contractions. I want you to rest. And no more stress. I think that may of had a part in this. I will check up on you in an hour." Dr. Masen told Amy and then left the room.

"Amy you scared me. I thought I was losing you and the baby again. I am just glad your ok. I will do whatever it takes to keep you calm and well rested. Is there anything you want or need?" Ricky asked her.

"No I just want to close my eyes and sleep for a while." Amy said as her eyes closed and she fell fast asleep from the exhaustion.

Ricky then heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Adrian come into the room and take a seat next to the other side of Amy's bed. Ricky gave Amy's hand a gentle kiss and then motioned for Adrian to follow him. Ricky waited for a minute and took a long slow deep breath. "Adrian what happened? I asked you to watch her."

"I went in to see how she was doing cause she was in her bedroom. I heard her crying and I have been worried about her. Then she went on about Ben and myself and what happened years ago. And I apologized again for all of that and I told her that I wanted to be friends and that I reallly cared about her and she helped me with a terrible time in my life. Then she doubled over in pain and then we got in the car and we talked to you and then we were here and then you were here. Anything else your honor?" Adrian said with a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"I am sorry. I just cannot help but think about what could of happened to them. I need her Adrian. She is my entire life and I know she is hurting but so am I. I feel like I am losing her Adrian. And I don't choose that. I want her to remember and be the Amy that I love and who loves me but no one knows if that will ever happen." Ricky said as he put his hands to his face and cried.

Adrian could see the pain and the inner struggle that he was having inside of him. She went over to him and she embraced him. And they stood there for a long moment until Ricky pulled back from the embrace. He wiped his face with his hands and then he went back into Amy's room. He took a seat next to the bed and watched as Amy slept. They had hooked up and IV. And there was a fetal monitor and several other machines around. It reminded Ricky of when Amy had been in the hospital after her fall and when John had been so sick from his cancer years ago. He hated hospitals he realized but he knew this was where they needed to be.

A few hours later Ricky still sat at the chair next to Amy. Adrian had gone back to the apartment to pack a few things for Amy in case it would be a long stay. Ricky felt his eyes get heavy but fought the urge to close them. Ricky noticed Amy was starting to shake. He got up from the chair and went to her. Amy began to shake more violently. Ricky tried to wake her but no effect. Ricky then pushed the button for the nurse. And then Amy began to gasp for breath. Ricky was panicking. It was happening all over again.

The doctors and nurses came in. "She just started shaking and she is gasping for breath now. Please tell me she is going to be alright?" Ricky asked Dr. Masen.

"I don't know. It might be a side effect from the medication we gave her to stop the contractions. Some of the possbile side effects is shaking and she may have fluid on her lungs thats why she is gasping.

"Dr. Masen her blood pressure's dropping." the nurse said quickly.

"Alright Ricky I need you to leave so we can treat your wife. I will update you as soon as I know ?" Dr. Masen said.

Ricky shook his head yes and he left the room. He paced the floor back and forth until he felt like he had worn a hole in it. Then he watched the clock tick second by second and finally he watched his phone. Nothing sped up time or took his mind off of his wife and child. He just wanted to know what was going on and if they were going to be ok. Then Ricky heard the door open and he saw the doctor approach him.


	10. Unexpected

"Mr. Underwood, Amy is going to be alright." the doctor said as he looked at Ricky closely.

Ricky took a huge sigh of relief but still was unsure of what the future held for everyone. He looked over at the doctor again. He had a look of relief but of bad news too. So Ricky knew he might have good news but he also had bad news as well. "What else is there?" Ricky said as he watched the doctor.

"We were able to stablize your wife. She is doing good but her contractions aren't subsiding. The baby is not showing any signs of distress from the ordeal. I have taken her off the medication and am going to try another medication but if that does not work I may have to let the labor proceed. But there is still a chance. She's asking for you though." the doctor told Ricky and then went back to Amy's room.

Ricky followed the doctor into the room and he went over to Amy. She was awake. She had an oxygen mask on and she looked tired from the entire ordeal. She looked over at Ricky and then she pulled the mask off her face. "I am glad you are here." Amy said to him.

"Amy I went over everything with your husband. I am going to check up on you in a few minutes. Get some rest." the doctor told Amy and then left the room.

"Ricky I remembered when John got sick and he was in the hospital. I remember holding him and trying to comfort him. I just wanted to let you know that I remembered." Amy said as she gave him weak smile.

"Yeah that is right." Ricky said as he put his hand to her forehead. Then he noticed that she started to cry. Ricky wiped away her tears from her face. "It's ok Amy. But you have to calm down and get some rest." Ricky said with concern in his voice.

"I know but I keep thinking about how much our baby has gone through. I just want her to be healthy, happy, and safe from all the horrible things going on." Amy said as she cried some more.

"You have to not think about any of that now ok? I want you to close your eyes and get some sleep and just think about all the good things." Ricky said as he saw Amy nod her head yes.

Ricky kissed her forehead and then he put the oxygen mask back over Amy's mouth and nose. Amy held out her hand and took Ricky's hand into her own. He gave her hand a tight squeeze. Amy then closed her eyes and fell asleep. Ricky took a seat next to Amy's bedside. He watched Amy's every move. He wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to her or their baby again. He wanted to keep all the bad things from happening to them ever again. He knew that was impossible but he would at least try to keep the bad things from happening from his loved ones ever again.

Four more hours passed by but Amy's contractions continued even despite the new medication. The doctors were out of options and would have to let the baby come. Amy's labor was progressing fast and she was in the final stages already and before everyone knew it the time for her to push came. Amy pushed for a while and finally after several minutes and several pushes the baby girl came into the world. Ricky was right there with her the entire time. Ricky cut the cord and he looked down at their baby. She was tiny and so small. The doctor showed her to them and then they brought her over to a team waiting for her. They were working on her. They intubated her so that she would get more air from the machine since her lungs were so underdeveloped. Amy struggled to look over at her daughter.

"Amy we need you to stay still while we get you stable after the delivery." the nurse told her.

Amy stared up at the ceiling as the doctors did what they had to. Then when the nurse told her it was over she arched again and looked directly at her daughter. Ricky as already standing nearby. He looked at her closely. She had dark brown hair like him but her eyes were as blue ocean. She was tiny but so beautiful. But Ricky saw as her chest heaved up and down with such force. He could see she was having a hard time. So as soon as she was stable after they got her put on a breathing machine and got her settled they took her out of the room.

"Where are they taking her?" Amy asked.

"She is very premature and she is having a hard time breathing. They are going to bring her to the NICU but you'll be able to visit with her later. She's in good hands." the nurse told her with a comforting voice.

"Is she going to be alright?" Amy asked in a panic.

"There doing everything that they can. She is a strong little girl. But since she came early she will need time to develop and gain weight." the nurse told Amy.

Ricky went over by Amy and he held onto her hand. Ricky hugged Amy as they watched their daughter being taken out of the room. Amy started crying at the sight of her baby being so small and struggling to survive. Ricky held onto her and wiped away her tears but more kept flowing. Amy held onto Ricky tightly and she put her face into his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while.

An hour later Amy and Ricky were left alone in her room after the doctors finished after the delivery. Amy watched as Ricky was sitting on the chair his knuckles were red from being held so tightly by Amy's hands. "We have to name her." Amy said as her tears came again.

"I know. " Ricky said with hoarse voice from crying.

"Do you have any ideas?" Amy asked Ricky as she put her hand to his face and she stroked his face gently.

"That feels good. Um... I was thinking about that recently and I really like the name Lucy. What do you think?" Ricky asked her.

"That's cute. What does it mean?" Amy asked him.

"Ah I think it means light and she definately is a light in our lives. What about her middle name. Any ideas?" Ricky asked Amy.

"I don't know. Do you have any other ideas?" Amy said as she looked over at Ricky again.

"What about Margaret after my adopted mother. She means a lot to me and she is a big part of my life. What do you think?" Ricky asked her.

"Lucy Margaret Underwood. I like it and it fits her." Amy said as she started to cry again.

Ricky got up from the chair and he sat down on the bed next to her. He put his arms around her and they held one another. "Why is this happening to us? She is so small Ricky. I was supposed to protect her and keep her safe but I failed and now she is struggling with every breath she takes. I just do not understand why this has to happen. It's just not fair Ricky. That is our baby and she does not deserve any of this." Amy said as she cried.

"I know but it happened. You didn't do anything wrong honey. You did everything you could it just wasn't meant to be. But she is a strong little girl and she is in a safe place. But we have to be strong for her. I love you so much sweetheart and I am so sorry that you and our baby have gone through so much already."

Ricky rocked Amy in his arms. He kissed her cheeks and finally her lips. She didn't pull back but kissed him back. Then she pulled back and stared into his eyes. She could see the fear and the pain within them. She embraced him and held him close to her. Then they both laid down on Amy's bed and they both closed their eyes and held onto one another. Ricky just wanted everything to be good and so did Amy, but they both feared for their daughter fighting for her life.

After a few more hours passed the doctor said they could visit with their daughter in the NICU. Ricky wheeled Amy up in a wheel chair. They had to go through procedures and rules and finally after all of that they were allowed into the NICU. A nurse showed them to Lucy's bassinet. Amy reached in by Lucy and she stroked her head. Amy then touched her arms, her hands, her entire body. She was perfect just so tiny. Amy smiled at her beautiful baby girl.

"She's so tiny but so pretty. She has your hair Ricky." Amy said as she looked over at Ricky for a moment and then back at her daughter.

"Yeah she does. She is beautiful just like her mother." Ricky said as he knelt down next to Amy and he put one hand into Amy's and the other he put in his daughter's tiny hand. Ricky, Amy, and their daughter stayed like that for awhile and just held onto one another as a family as it should be. Ricky smiled at Amy after a few minutes and they both gave Lucy a smile then too. 


	11. Happy and Some Sad Memories

Amy lay in her hospital bed. She was fast dreams had been coming to her over the past two days since she had given birth to her daughter. She felt like her memory was being restored more each day. Especially at nightime when the world was still and dark. Some made sense while others felt out of place. Ricky had helped fill in the gaps and the memories made more sense.

Lucy was doing well since her birth. Her breathing was better since being on the breathing machine. Her vitals were good and she had remained stable over the last two days. Ricky had been coming and going over the last two days. He spent time between the hospital visiting Amy and Lucy, and then at the Juergens visiting John and Anna, and lastly home to their apartment where he could get some sleep and clean up after a long day.

Ricky had just arrived at the hospital and made his way up to Amy's room. He walked in and went over to her bedside. Amy pulled him into and embrace and then gave him a deep kiss on the lips. Ricky then pulled back after a few seconds. He looked into Amy's eyes with a look of shock. Amy's eyes were almost twinkling. Ricky gave her a smile and then gave her another kiss.

"Your feeling quite well this morning." Ricky said as they parted from their second kiss.

"I am. I feel like I remember almost everything I have lost. Mostly I remember you and our relationship. I know this has been hard on you these last few months after the accident. I want to thank you for standing beside me and helping me and our family. It means alot that you love me so much and I love you for that. Even if I never remember everything we had together I have made a choice. I choose you Ricky. I want you in my life always. I want us to raise our children together and I want you there when we are surrounded by our grandchildren hopefully one day. I don't remember everything. But I remember my love for you and your love for me." Amy said as she smiled at Ricky with a big smile that she hadn't done since before her accident

"I am so happy to hear you say that. Because I love you so much. I can never put into words how much I feel about you. You are my entire life along with the kids. I love you Amy and I am glad you are remembering what was lost. By the way Adrian, Bryan, your family and John and Anna all say hello and they are glad that you are feeling better. And the kids are excited to see the new baby but that might be some time since she is in the NICU. But I told them as soon as she comes home they will be able to see her all they want to.I cannot wait till we can get to take her home." Ricky told Amy.

"I can't wait either. I know that I would like to spend some time with the kids and especially you. It will be nice to just be the two of us. But I miss the kids and our home. This hospital bed is not comfortable at all. And with our bed there is so much room." Amy said with a little smile.

"You really are happy and I do believe you remember quite well Mrs. Underwood." Ricky said again as they kissed once more.

"Why don't we go up and see Lucy. I am sure there will be plenty of time for other things. Besides I am being released today so I want to see her before I go home later this afternoon." Amy said as she stood up. Then she and Ricky left her room and made there way to the NICU. After getting ready they were allowed into the nursery. Amy sat down in the rocker near Lucy's crib and Ricky picked up the small infant who weighed only two and half pounds and was only fourteen inches long about. But she was perfect in any other way.

He placed Lucy into Amy's waiting arms. She cradled her daughter carefully in her arms. Ricky then knelt down beside her and watched as his wife and his daughter bonded. Ricky stroked Lucy's small cheek. She was so small and warm. He was careful of her breathing tube and the other machines hooked up to her. They spent a few hours with their daughter until it was time for Amy to be released from the hosptial.

Amy was given a full exam including brain scans and all came back with positive outcomes. After her exam she was released and then she was wheeled outside where Ricky was waiting with the car. He helped her into the car. And then he drove to Amy's parents house. Ricky pulled into the driveway. He got out and helped Amy out of the car. Then hand in hand they went into Amy's childhood home. As they walked in Amy took in everyone waiting in the living room for her. Adrian and her husband Bryan were there. As was Grace and Jack with their son Shawn. They had been away for the last three months or so in Arizona where Jack was working but now they had returned home just the previous week. Amy's mom and dad were there too. Also her sister Ashley, and her little brother Robbie as well as John and Anna.

When John and Anna saw their parents they ran into their arms. Amy picked up John and held him close to her. She looked into his eyes and saw the little boy that she now remembered. He was no longer a toddler but a six year old little boy. Amy put John down and then picked up her daughter Anna. She kissed her sweet daughter on the cheeks. she couldn't believe she was now three years old. Amy then looked at everyone there who cared about her and who she cared about as well.

"Thank you everyone for being there for me and my family. It means so much that you have been there supporting us during this difficult time." Amy said as she took in everyone's faces as they seemed touched by her words.

Adrian got up first and she went over to Amy. She hugged her tightly. "Amy I am so glad that your are ok. And that you remember most of your lost memories. I am so happy to see you feelling better." Adrian said as she pulled back and looked at her friend.

"And look at you." Amy said as she saw that Adrian's belly had begun to show.

Adrian put her hand to her stomach and rubbed it gently and then she smiled back at Amy. "Yes I am. Bryan and I found out that we are having twins actually. So I probably will show sooner then I have in the past.

"Twins! That's wonderful Adrian. I am so happy for you and Bryan. You must be so excited." Amy said with excitement in her voice.

"We are and with Bryan reenlisting in the army it came as a surprise. We weren't trying but we weren't not trying. I know it will be hard without him here when he is deployed in a few months. But I also know I have a wonderful familly and friends that stand beside me and help me." Adrian said with a bit of sadness in her voice at the thought, but then she smiled again.

"Bryan it is good to see you too and congragulations on your new additions to your family." Amy said as Bryan walked up behind Adrian.

"Thanks Amy. That means alot to us. And congrats on your baby girl. We both hope she will be home soon and be healthy." Bryan said as he put his arms around Adrian for support after she had a moment of sadness at his leaving in the distant future.

"Thank you." Amy said as she felt Ricky's hand enclose on her own.

Grace walked up to everyone. She had been away the last few months and felt she has missed alot but was happy to be home with her friends and her family again. "Hi everybody." Grace said in a happy voice.

"Hi Grace. I am glad your back. How was your trip?" Amy said as she gave her a hug.

"It was great. Really warm and humid, but Shawn had a wonderful time there. And Jack's parents were there. They really enjoyed spending time with us and with their grandson. I can hardly believe he is already almost six months old." Grace said with a smile.

"Yeah time goes quickly and they grow fast. I mean Hope is two already. Soon we will have two more little ones." Adrian said as she looked down at her stomach with a smile.

"So do you want a boy and a girl. Two boys or two girls?" Grace said as her face lit up with excitement.

"It doesn't matter. I mean a boy would be nice since we have three girls, but as long as their healthy. That is all we want." Adrian said to Grace and then she saw Amy's face change. A look of sadness and pain came over her. Then Adrian realizing what she had said felt horrible.

"I am so sorry Amy. I did not mean to offend you or to hurt you by that comment I just made." Adrian said with a sincere apology to Amy.

"It is alright. Lucy is where she has to be. And she's stable so that is good." Amy said as she thought of her very small but perfect little girl.

After that everyone came up and told Amy and Ricky congragulations on Lucy's birth and how happy they all were for Amy's memory being almost fully restored. Then they all told Bryan and Adrian congrats on their pregnancy. After a while Amy and Ricky took John and Anna home. They put them into their own beds and made sure they were fast asleep and then tucked them in. Then Amy and Ricky got ready for bed and went into their bedroom. Amy and Ricky laid in bed together wrapped up in each others arms.

"I am happy to have you home Amy." Ricky said as he kissed her forehead.

"I am happy to be home with you and the kids. I feel like I almost myself again." Amy said and then turned to Ricky and kissed him on the lips.

"You are you. You always were you just lost a part of yourself. But I can see that part coming back more all the time. And I see the light in your eyes and the way you kiss me with so much love and passion. It makes me love you even more. I do love you Amy. I always will." Ricky said as he looked into her eyes.

"I appreciate you saying that. And I love you too. I knew I forgot that but I knew deep down inside that you were very important to me and I never forgot how safe you made me feel. And I know that our love is what saved me, saved us. And I never want to forget that again, ever. I love you too.

That night they fell asleep in each other's arms. They both slept deeply and without any nightmares. They knew the next few weeks would be hard but for the first time the future looked brighter than it had in the last few weeks. Even though it would be hard they knew as long as they had each other that they could make it through anything that life would bring their way. So they slept deeply knowing their life was going to be together in the future.  
> <p>


	12. A Sad Time

Amy awoke in Ricky's arms the next morning. She laid there for a few minutes enjoying the warmth and closeness. Then she turned and kissed Ricky on the cheek. He opened his eyes and stared at Amy. He put a big smile on his face and then he leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Amy kissed him back with as much passion and longing. Then Ricky pulled back and stared into Amy's eyes.

"I thought I was dreaming last night. But when I woke up and you were in my arms I knew that it was true. I love you so much Amy. I am just happy to have you back in my life." Ricky said in a soft voice.

"I love you too. And I am glad to be back home too." Amy said and then she laid ontop of him and kissed him for a few minutes and then she smiled back at him.

"Amy we have to get the kids up soon." Ricky said as he saw the more confident side of Amy that she had lost after her accident.

"Yeah I know. I just have missed you so much and I want to spend some time alone with you. I just wish Lucy was here with us and John and Anna. It doesn't feel complete without her here." Amy said with bit of sadness in her voice.

Ricky put his arms around her a little tighter. Amy leaned in closer to his chest. And then Ricky wiped away her tears. He gave her a kiss on her cheek. "I know honey. But I also know that one day she will be here with us. We just have to stay strong and think positive thoughts. I love you for your wonderful and generous heart." Ricky said as he gave her a smile and then Amy gave him a smile.

"So what do you want to do today after we go and visit Lucy?" Ricky asked Amy.

"Um well we have a ton of things to get and do before Lucy comes home. I mean we haven't even gotten the crib or anything ready. I just would feel a lot better if we did that. It would make it seem like she is going to be alright and she will be home soon." Amy said as she looked into Ricky's eyes.

"Yeah we can do that. I am going to get John and Anna up and ready to go. I'll be back in a few minutes." Ricky said as he got up and gave Amy one last kiss and then left their bedroom and went to the kids rooms. Amy smiled to herself as she thought about her kids and her husband. Life felt like it was falling back into place. Although she had a few pieces missing still she felt good about her future.

Amy's phone rang a few seconds. Amy picked it up and then hit talk. "Hello?" Amy said into her cell phone.

"Hi Amy, it's Adrian. I was wondering if you would like to come over to our house for dinner and we could talk for a while too." Adrian said with a bit of hestitation in her voice.

Amy tried to place what she was feeling but couldn't. "Um let me check with Ricky, but it shouldn't be a problem. Did you want us to bring over a dish or something special for dinner?" Amy asked her.

"No we have everything all ready. Bryan and I would just like to talk to you and Ricky and catch up some more. So we will see you about seven?" Adrian said hopeful.

"Yeah we will be there. Bye." Amy said into the phone but something just felt off to her. And she didn't know what it was.

"Ok great. Bye Amy." Adrian replied and hung up the phone.

Amy hung up her phone and set on her nightstand next to her bed. Then she laid on her bed looking up at the ceiling. The entire conversation left a bad feeling over Amy. She just could not shake. She got up off her bed and then she got dressed. Then she went into the kitchen and she made breakfast for everyone. After the kids were dressed and fed then they all got into Amy's SUV and went out shopping.

Ricky and Amy went to go to the hospital to visit Lucy for a few hours and then they went and picked up the kids from Amy's parents house and then they went bought furniture and everything that Lucy could need when she got home from the hospital. Then they ate out for lunch. And then they went home and put the crib and changing table together and put it into Anna's room where the girls would live together. Then Amy washed clothes and bedding and got them put away and the room was all set for when Lucy would come home. Anna had gone down for a nap and so had John. John normally didn't take naps anymore but the long day wore him out. Ricky and Amy were curled up on the couch in the living room and Amy could not get Adrian's phone call and her tone of voice out of her head.

"Ricky I am worried about Adrian. She sounded off on the phone. I mean I do not really know her as well as I once did but I could tell she was trying to keep her voice even and steady but it seemed like she had a sad tone to her voice. It is probably nothing. What do you think?" Amy asked Ricky.

"It could be with Bryan going overseas in four months. Maybe she is scared cause they just bought a house and that is a huge responsiblity. Or maybe she is scared cause she is pregnant with twins. Or maybe Bryan's ex is causing trouble again. It could be anything. Or maybe she is tired and wore out. Or maybe it's because Bryan asked to adopt Hope perhaps." Ricky said as he thought about it.  
>"Why would that upset her?" Amy asked Ricky with a bit of confusion.<p>

"Maybe she is not ready to let go of Ben. Cause he is Hope's father and Adrian really loved him a lot. Not that she does not love Bryan. It's just hard to let someone else you love so much and had a child with fill that place. I mean Hope is Ben's daughter and she carrys his last name. And Ben would have loved Hope so much. Maybe Adrian is scared for Hope to have Bryan be officially and legally be Hope's father." Ricky said as he looked over at Amy a few times.

"No it has to be more than that. She loves Bryan and she knows Ben is gone and that Bryan would make a good father to her daughter. I just feel it's has to be something else." Amy said as she was deep in thought.

"Well no sense in worrying about it now. We will know soon enough. So why don't we just take a nap since the kids went down a few minutes ago. You could catch up on some sleep." Ricky said as he looked into her tired eyes.

"Okay. That sounds like a good idea." Amy said as they got up from the couch and went into their bedroom and fell asleep after a long day. They slept for a few hours and then later they got up and got the kids ready to go over to Adrian and Bryan's house for dinner. They drove quietly over to their new house. And then when they drove up into the driveway. Ricky got John and Amy got Anna out of the back of the car and then they walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Adrian opened the door and motioned for them to come in.

Bryan was sitting on the couch with Hope, Kate, and Holly. Amy, Ricky and their kids sat on the other couch across from them. Then Adrian went and sat down next to Bryan. They had a very serious look on their faces. Amy exchanged a look with Ricky who looked worried. But then he and Amy both looked back at Adrian and Bryan waiting for them to start.

"Kids why don't you go play in the girls room." Bryan told the kids. So all the girls and John went to play leaving the adults alone to talk in private.

"Bryan got a phone call last night and he found out some bad news." Adrian said as she put her hand into Bryans.

"Susan was supposed to pick up Kate and Holly two weeks ago. But she never showed or called. So I got worried and I went to her apartment. It was vacant and no one had seen her in several weeks. So I filled out a missing persons report. Yesterday the police called me. They had found someone who fit Susan's description. They found her in an alley. She had OD on drugs. It was her. I just don't know what to tell the girls but I have too. I didn't want to put this on you guys especially now but I didn't know where else to turn to. You are both my closest friends.

"Her funeral is going to be in two days. We were both wondering if you would both be there to support Byran and especially the girls. It would mean a lot to us. I know it's asking a lot." Adrian said as she looked at Amy and Ricky for a few moments.

"I am so sorry for you loss. We will both be there and if there is anything else we can do to help please let us know." Amy said as she choked back her tears.

"Amy can you stay with Adrian while I tell the girls. She really needs a friend right now. And Ricky I was wondering if you could come with me to tell them. I just cannot put Adrian through anymore stress since she is pregnant. It would mean a lot to me." Bryan asked his very good friend.

"Yeah of course." Ricky said as he and Bryan left the room and went upstairs to talk to the Holly and Kate.

Amy went over to Adrian and sat down where Bryan had just been sitting. She enclosed her arms around Adrian. Adrian broke up in tears. She held onto Amy tightly. Her tears kept coming. "Amy I am so glad your here. I just keep feeling so sad. And I just keep thinking of those two little girls who will never know there mother ever again. How can that be fair? Now Hope lost her dad and Holly and Kate lost their mom. So much pain and so much sadness. And then I tell myself I have to not stress for the babies. Because Bryan and I both want these two little ones so much. I just feel so lost and with Bryan deploying in a few months. I keep thinking what if something happens to him. Then the girls would only have me and I don't know if I can take care of them by myself." Adrian said with fear in her voice.

Amy sat there and held onto Adrian for several minutes. Both women cried for all the hard times their families were facing and would continue to face. Both of them cried until the tears finally started to stop. And then they heard the cries of two little girls whose hearts had just been broken and then they cried again at the horrible thought of those two little girls going through some of the hardest times in their lives ever. 


	13. Moving On Slowly

Amy looked in the mirror once more. She wore a black dress and a very sad face. Ricky and Amy had been through a lot in the last two days. Adrian and Bryan were trying to keep it together for the girls but they had their moments when they fell apart. Especially when the girls started to cry. That broke everyones hearts to see them so little going through so much pain in their very young lives. To lose a parent so young was one of the the hardest things they would face. But Bryan and Adrian would not let the girls see them fall apart. Instead they did in private. Mostly when they were with Amy and Ricky. Now the two days were gone and the funeral was there and everyone had been dreading this day. But Amy put on a brave face and so did Ricky. They knew they had to stay strong for their friends and their family.

Amy and Ricky after getting ready dropped John and Anna off at Amy's parents house. Then they went up to the hospital to visit with Lucy for an hour and then they had to leave for the service. Ricky drove quietly to the church were the service was being held. Then Ricky parked the car and he and Amy went inside. The mood was very sad and it was extremely quiet. Amy grabbed onto Ricky's hand for support. He then put his arm around her waist. They continued to walk through the church until they found Bryan and Adrian. Kate and Holly were there too but Hope was with Adrian's parents for the day. Amy could see the sadness in Holly and Kate's eyes. It looked like no one had slept much in the past two days.

"Amy." Adrian said and then embraced her.

"I am so sorry for your family's loss." Amy said as they pulled back.

"Thank you but I am more worried about Bryan and the girls." Adrian said as she looked over at her husband.

Bryan walked up behind Adrian and he put his arm around her shoulder. "Adrian I don't want you to worry or stress. You need to stay calm. Let me worry about the girls and myself. I love you and I just want you to take care of you and the babies. That will make me worry less too. Alright?" Bryan said as if he was pleading with her. Mostly with his eyes as he looked in Adrian's eyes.

"Ok. I love you." Adrian told him. Bryan then leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Then everyone took their seats as the service was beginning to start. Amy sat with Ricky in the row behind Adrian, Bryan, and their family. The service began. It was about an hour long. Amy felt so sad being there and seeing so many people affected by the loss. Amy never had lost a parent but she had been there when others had. She knew it was one of the greatest losses one would ever face in their life. Several times Amy had to wipe away the tears that fell. She squeezed Ricky's hand several times during the sevice. After it was done everyone went to the graveside for the burial. Everyone got into their cars and drove to the site. Just as they were reaching the place it began to rain. It echoed the mood everyone was feeling.

The sevice for the burial lasted only a few minutes and afterwards it was all over. Everyone got back into their cars and went home and back to their lives as best as anyone could after such a tragedy. Amy and Ricky and John and Anna all went over to Adrian and Bryan's house in the evening. It was a very sad and hard time together. While the adults were trying to smile and not cry the kids could tell there was something off about the whole thing.

"Mommy why you crying?" John said as he walked up to his mother and he touched her cheek where a few stray tears had fallen. Amy looked over at her son. His brown eyes looking back at her. Amy took John into her arms and hugged him. Then she pulled John onto her lap.

"Honey I am crying because someone is no longer here with their family. And we all gathered to remember this person. Do you understand?" Amy said as she looked once more into his eyes.

"Yeah." John said and then he leaned in closer to Amy and he sat there most of the night close to his mother.

"So have you decided about Hope's adoption yet?" Ricky asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah we got all the paperwork done and Leo and Camielle did not have any problems with it. And Adrian is alright with it. I just want Hope to know that I am proud to be able to be in her life. I wish her dad was here. I know he would have loved that little girl with all of his heart. Because I have heard from all of you how kind, generous, loving, and wonderful man he was. I just want Hope to know how important she is to me as well. And I know that I cannot replace Ben, and I am not trying to do that. I just want to be a part of her life." Bryan said in gentle tone knowing the subject was hard for everyone about the loss of Ben.

"It is alright. I think it is good to talk about him. That way Hope never will wonder about him. She will already know from us talking about him." Adrian said as she also wiped a few tears away.

"We both wanted to ask you something. I know we have all been through a hard day. But life is very short and no one ever knows what tomorrow will bring or even if there will be one. But Bryan and I have been talking and we were wondering if you would be Hope's godparents?" Bryan said as he took Adrian's hand into his own.

Amy and Ricky exchanged surprised but happy looks. "We would love too." Amy said with a smile.

"Good then that's all settled." Bryan said.

A while later Bryan and Ricky went into the other room to keep an eye on the kids. Leaving Adrian and Amy alone to talk. Amy was not sure of what to say or not to say. She didn't want to make anything harder for anyone. "So how did your last doctor's appointment go?"

"Uh it went ok. The doctor listened to both heartbeats and he went over risks and other information. I am at higher risk of going into early labor and with my history of losing Mercy that also factors in a little more with twins but it is only a small chance he said. But still Bryan has been worried about it ever since the doctor said that. He wants me to take it easy and no stress." Adrian said to Amy.

"He's right you need to stay calm and not worry. I mean my doctors at the hopsital think with all the stress I was under that may have played a part in Lucy being born prematurely. I never realized how much stress can affect your body. I mean there were other factors that probably played a role in my going to labor as well but I still feel responsible for her being there." Amy said as she looked at her stomach.

"I understand and I am trying too." Adrian said. Amy squeezed Adrian's hand.

"I know you are." Amy said with a small smile.

"It is just hard thinking about Bryan leaving soon. I mean I know we will need the money. I just wish it turned out differently. I mean we did make the choice for him to reenlist together. It seemed like a good idea at the time." Adrian said in quiet voice.

"I get it. Ricky is going back to work soon too. He has not been working since he was discharged and when he was getting ready to go back I had my accident. I also am going to go back to work. I mean I took leave or should I say Ricky handled that while I was in the hospital. And then when I had the baby my maternity time kicked in but we are living on savings and that can only last so long." Amy said her own fears and concerns out loud.

"Well we all will just have to do the best we can. That is all anyone can ask of us. And I know I can count on you Amy. You have been a very good friend to me. And our friendship means so much to me. I am glad you are in my life." Adrian said.

Amy leaned in and gave her a hug. "I am too Adrian. I am too. And you have been a great friend to me as well. I learned how you took care of my kids when I was in the hospital. And how you cleaned and cooked for my family. I mean you doing that meant a lot to me. Thank you for all you have done for me. " Amy said.

" Your welcome. But I know that with Bryan leaving in the near future I can also count on you for your help with the kids and everything." Adrian said as she gave Amy a smile.

"Yes you can and Ricky too." Amy said and then they continued to talk about everything from the good to the bad from the happy to the saddest times in their lives. 


	14. Welcome Home and Goodbye to You

Three more months had passed since Susan's funeral. So much had changed in that time. Lucy had grown stronger and was doing well. The doctors were getting ready to release her from the hospital. Ricky had gone back to work full time for Leo at the butchershop. Amy had also returned to her work at the restaurant but only part time with Ricky working again and Lucy coming home soon. Life had returned almost to normal. Although life had changed everyone with hardships and hard times. Adrian was now six months pregnant and she and Bryan had learned they were having a boy and a girl. They were both estatic to learn the genders. Adrian and Bryan were preparing for Bryan's deployment. He would be leaving in only a few short days. Everyone was just trying to keep things happy and spend as much time together as possible.

Amy made sure the carseat, the diaper bag, and the outfit that she and Ricky had chosen for Lucy to come home in. Ricky already was in the car and waiting for her. She picked up the items and closed the door. Then she slowly walked down the stairs. Ricky met her by the car and took the carseat from her and secured in the back of the car. Then Amy put the diaper bag in the other side of the car. Then Ricky drove to the hospital with Amy. After a few minutes they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Then they grabbed the carseat and diaper bag and hand in hand walked into the hosptial together.

They were brought into a room where a nurse brought Lucy to them. They gave her a bath and placed her in the little onsie that said daddys little girl and with a soft white sweater along with pink booties. Then after all the paperwork was done they placed Lucy into her carseat and they were allowed to take her home. They left the hospital and then Ricky secured Lucy in the infant seat into the back of the car. Amy then sat in the back next to her. And then Ricky drove slowly home. Then when they got home they went inside their apartment and Ricky placed the carseat on the floor next to the couch. Then he slowly unbuckled her and picked her up. She was small at just over six pounds but she had grown alot since her birth. He held her close to his chest. He took in her baby smell. Then Amy sat down next to them. They both sat there and stared at the baby they had both wanted and had come so close to losing. But she was finally home.

"She looks so much like you Ricky. She has your dark hair except her eyes are blue. But that could change too." Amy said as she smiled at the baby asleep in her father's arms.

"Yeah I know. But she probably will be just like you as she grows up." Ricky said as he chuckled.

"Very funny. I just can not believe that she is home and safe. I feel like someone is going to tell us visiting hours are over." Amy said as she stared at her daughter closely.

"Nope she is ours from now on." Ricky said he smiled at Amy. Amy then leaned closer and kissed Ricky with a deep kiss but yet careful of Lucy.

"She is so precious. To think how close it could have gone the other way..." Amy said as she took in the deep meaning as did Ricky.

"Hey don't even think about that. Do you hear me?" Ricky said as he kissed her forehead gently.

"I know, but it could have happened so easily. I mean when I think about it I think about Adrian and what happened with Mercy. It was a fifty fifty chance and it ended so sadly for them. And then I think of Ben and how much that he and Adrian went through and how horrible it was for them. I just don't want to ever go through that ever." Amy said quietly.

"I understand. But our baby is fine and healthy. It was meant to be that way. Unfortunately it wasn't for their baby but we don't know why anything happens we just have to be greatful for what we have." Ricky said as he turned from Amy to their baby once again looking at her tiny face.

"Yeah. Your right." Amy said as she put a huge smile on her face again.

The rest of the day Amy and Ricky enjoyed the time with Lucy. They even enjoyed the constant feedings and diaper changes. It was a wonderful reminder of what they may have lost. Later that night they put John and Anna to bed each in their own rooms. Then they went to their own room and fell asleep with Lucy asleep in her bassinette next to the bed. Everyone went to sleep feeling like the family was all there.

The next few days passed quickly. Amy and Ricky had settled into a new routine. Ricky took John to school in the morning and then went to work. While Amy who had taken a month off of work stayed home with Anna and Lucy. Then when Ricky got home he made dinner, did the laundy, helped with all the kids with baths, feeding and such. It was a quiet routine of everyday life. But Ricky couldn't be more happy after the years he had spent apart from his next day everyone got early. Ricky had taken the day off of work. They were all taking Bryan and dropping him off where he would leave from his deployment. They made breakfast and got everyone dressed to go. They took Amy's SUV with all the kids. After all three of the kids were buckled in they drove to Adrian's and Bryan's house. They were all getting into Bryan's truck and then Adrian got into the passengers seat and Bryan got into the drivers seat. And then they all drove the few hours to drop off Bryan.

Once there it took a bit to get all the kids out. Amy put Lucy into a stroller and picked up Anna while Ricky walked with John holding his hand. Adrian had Hope standing next to her and then Kate and Holly stood nearby. Adrian looked tired whether it was from being so pregnant with twins or lack of sleep Amy wasn't sure but she knew Adrian was going through a lot. Bryan went over to Amy and Ricky and their family first.

"Well I guess this is it. You guys take care of yourselfs and your family. And I expect to hear from you both regularly. And if you could keep and eye on Adrian it would mean a lot to me and I wouldn't worry so much either." Bryan said to Amy and Ricky.

'Yeah we will. You take care of yourself and hey come back safe." Ricky said as he gave Bryan a firm handshake.

'I will." Bryan said as he looked into Ricky's face.

"Yes and we will all be here to welcome you home when you get back. Don't worry about Adrian we will help her." Amy said as she gave Bryan a friendly hug.

"Thanks Amy." Bryan said and then he said a goodbye to John and Anna and then he went over to his own family.

Holly and Kate hugged him at the same time. "Daddy we love you. Please come back to us again." Holly said to her dad.

"I will honey. You help Adrian by being a good girl. I love you girls so much." Bryan said as he hugged them both tightly.  
>"I love you daddy." Kate said quietly as she hugged him closely.<p>

Then he went over to Hope. He hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then he stood up and went to Adrian. He enclosed her in a gentle hug. Then he pulled back and he kissed her deeply until they both parted out of breath. Then he put his hand on her belly. He gently stroked her belly. Then he looked back up at her. She had tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with his put his hand on her cheeks and kissed her once more but more softly and gently.

"I am coming home to you. I promise you. I love you Adrian. I love our family and everything with you. Take care of yourself. And if you need help ask for it. I will see you as soon as I get back. I love you always my Adrian." Bryan said as he kissed her cheeks.

"I will. And you better come back. I love you so much. Don't forget about us. I love you." Adrian said as he kissed her once more and then he turned and picked up his pack and walked away toward the rest of the unit. He looked back and waved as did everyone. And then he was on the bus and he was gone after that.

Everyone drove back to Adrians house. They ate dinner and the kids played together with Ricky. While Amy and Adrian talked in the living room. The mood was so quiet it was as if you could feel the difference. "I miss him so much already. I cannot stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen to him over there. But then I tell myself to stop it. I just cannot think about him not coming back. I can't go through that again. I wouldn't survive it Amy not again." Adrian spoke softly and then she cried and cried as Amy hugged her. She didn't know what to say. She knew that there was real danger for him over there. But she also knew he had been trained. But she also knew what it was like to be at home alone left with your own fears that seemed so close and so real.  
> <p>


	15. Coming All Together Maybe?

Later that night after all the kids were asleep in their rooms and Lucy had been fed, changed, and had just went down to sleep they placed her in the crib in her and Anna's room. Then Amy turned on the baby monitor and took the other monitor she and Ricky went into their bedroom. She put the monitor on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. Amy then got into bed and then Ricky got in the other side a few minutes later. Amy leaned over and she kissed him with passion and longing. Ricky kissed her back with just as much passion and longing as she had. But then Ricky pulled back for a second.

"Amy are you sure. I know we haven't since before your accident." Ricky said as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes. The doctor said I am able to and I am back on my birth control for a while now. It has been enough time that it will work. I want you. I need you Ricky." Amy said as she laid ontop of him and silenced his concerns with her lips. And that night for the first time in a long time they were joined together.

The next morning they awoke in each others arms. Neither had gotten a lot of sleep after making love and then Lucy getting up every two hours or so. Amy looked over at Ricky and kissed him. He was smiling after the kiss. Amy laughed and then laid ontop of him and kissed him for a few minutes playfully. Ricky felt so happy at having Amy back and being very grateful for everything in his life.

"Last night was wonderful." Ricky said as she looked down at him.

"Good?" Amy said and then she held his hands down on the bed at his sides. "How good?" Amy said with a quizzing look on her face.

Ricky couldn't help but laugh at a memory that reminded him of how Amy was acting now. "The best ever that we have had." Ricky said as he arched his neck and kissed her once more.

"Then what's so funny?"Amy said as she looked into his eyes.

"One time when we were dating you came to my apartment. And you told me that you wanted to be with me and that you knew that I loved you and that you loved me. I tried to talk but you put your hand to my face and then kissed me. But your dad was actually in the other room and then you kind of lost your confidence after that. You just remind me of that moment now." Ricky said with a smile.

"Oh." Amy said as she also laughed a bit as well.

"Am I free now officer?" Ricky said with humor in his voice.

"Yes." Amy said as she released his hands. Then Ricky turned Amy over where she was laying under him this time. Then he kissed her for several moments until he heard Lucy crying on the baby monitor.

"I'll go." He said and gave her one more kiss and then got up off the bed. In a minute later he came in with Lucy who was crying. Amy took her from Ricky and soon Amy had her nursing which soothed her cries.

Afterwards Amy and Ricky got up and got dressed and ate with the kids. Then Ricky took John and left the apartment to go to work and drop John off at school. Amy then put Lucy down for a nap. Then she played with Anna for a while and then after a few hours she fed Anna lunch and put her down to bed. Then Lucy got up and she fed her, changed her, and then rocked her until she fell asleep. After Anna and Lucy woke up Amy got them ready and then drove over to Adrian's house to check up on her.

Amy knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knocked for a while and when finally no one answered she took her spare key and unlocked the door and went inside. She placed Lucy in her carseat on the floor and put Anna nearby with a few of Hope's toys that were in the living room. Then she went to the stairs and unlocked the safety gate and then secured it again and then went upstairs to Adrian and Bryan's room.

Amy knocked on the door and she heard Adrian say something. So she opened the door. Adrian was in bed her face was white as a sheet and she was in pain. Amy went over to her and sat on the bed next to her. "Adrian what is wrong?" Amy said in a panic.

"I think I am having contractions but it's too soon Amy. You have to get me to the hospital." Adrian said through the pain.

Amy immediatly got Adrian up and helped her slowly down the stairs. She then had Adrian sit on the couch and got her shoes on. Then she got the kids back in the car and then went and helped Adrian who was at the frontdoor get into the passengers seat. Then Amy locked up the house and drove as fast as she could to the hosptial. Amy called Ricky who was at work from her phone. It rang and finally went to his voicemail.

"You have reached Ricky, I am not available. Leave your name, a message, and I'll get back to you soon." Amy heard on the other end of her phone and then she heard the beep after the message.

"Ricky it's me. After you pick up John if you could meet me at the hospital. Don't panic I had to bring Adrian in to get checked. I love you and I'll see you as soon as you get there." Amy said and then hung up her phone.

Soon they were in front of the emergency room. Amy drove up in front of the doors. "Adrian stay with the girls. I will be right back with help." Amy told Adrian who nodded.

Amy ran out of the car and then ran into the doors. She reached the desk and she caught her breath for a moment. "I need help. My friend is six months pregnant with twins and she thinks she is having contractions." Amy said quickly.

"Okay we'll get a wheelchair and meet you out there." a nurse said and left the desk quickly.

Amy ran back out to her SUV. She opened the passenger seat. Adrian was having another contraction. "Hold on Adrian. Help is coming." Amy said as she held Adrian's hand. Adrian nodded at her.

Then the nurse and a doctor came out with a wheelchair. Amy pointed to Adrian. Then they got Adrian out of the car and into the wheelchair. Then the nurse wheeled her into the emergency entrance. The doctor turned to Amy. "We will have her in room 4. If you let them know at the desk. They will have some forms for you to fill out for your friend. She is in good hands."Alright. I"ll be in a moment I have to park my car and I have my kids with me." Amy said and then the doctor rushed in after Adrian and the nurse.

Amy got into her vehicle and parked it in the emergency parking lot. Amy took a moment and took a deep breath. She choked back her tears. She knew that wouldn't help her and certainly not Adrian who needed her now especially with Bryan overseas. Amy pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. Then she put Lucy in the stroller and grabbed Anna's hand and then they all went into the emergency entrance. She went over to the desk and the receptioninst asked her how she could help her.

"I am here with Adrian Callum. She was brought in with contractions just a few minutes ago. The doctor said you would have some forms for me to fill out." Amy told her.

"Yes. It will be a while before you will be able to see her. They are treating her now. But if you would please fill these out. You can have a seat in the waiting room down the hall and to the right. I will let you know when you can go see her." The lady said and pointed down the hall.

"Ok. Thank you." Amy took the forms and went with Anna and Lucy into the waiting room. Amy got Anna settled with some toys and Lucy had fallen asleep in her carseat. Amy then spent the next twently minutes filling out several forms. After she was finished she gave them to a nurse who walked by. Then her phone buzzed. She picked it up and hit talk.

"Ricky?" Amy said into the phone.

"Yeah. I just got your message when I went on break. How is she doing?" Ricky said.

"I don't know. She is in the emergency room now. I am out in the waiting room. She was having contractions. I haven't been able to see her yet and I have Anna and Lucy here with me." Amy told him.

"I called you dad. He is going to pick up John and then he is going to meet you there and pick up Anna. I know Lucy still is nursing so she will stay with us. I am leaving work now and I will be there in fifteen minutes ok." He told Amy.

"Alright. I will see you when you get here."

Amy hung up the phone and then she went to the bathroom and nursed the baby and changed her diaper. She also got a snack for Anna. Then she went and sat back down in the waiting room again. It seemed like she had been waiting forever. But still no one had come to get her or tell her what was going on. Finally the doctor who had met her when they first arrived came out into the waiting room.

"Mrs. Underwood?" he said.

"Yeah I am here. How is she?" Amy said.


	16. The Past Comes Into the Present

"Your friend is having regular contractions. We have given her some medicine to help stop them. The babies are doing good. We are getting ready to move her up to the maternity ward. We will continue to monitor her and the babies closely. She is asking for you she is down the hall in room 2. Give the nurse at the front desk your name and your friends name and her room number and she will let you right in. Is there anything else that you have questions or concerns?" the doctor said.

"Um not that I can think of right now." Amy said and then she shook the doctors hand.

"We are taking good care of her I promise." The doctor told Amy and then left the waitiing room.

Amy got the stroller and grabbed Anna's hand and made her way throught the hall until she arrived at the emergency desk. A nurse was on the phone with someone and the other nurse was going over some charts. "Can I help you dear?" The nurse asked her.

"I am here to see Adrian Callum. She is in emergency room two." Amy told the nurse.

The nurse checked some information and then turned back toward Amy. "You can go right in." the nurse told Amy.

Amy made her way in back and found room two. Then she opened the door and went inside. She put Anna in one chair and the stroller nearby Anna's chair. Amy then went over to the bed and touched Adrian's forehead. Adrian stirred and then she opened her eyes. "Amy. I didn't know if you stayed." Adrian said.

"Yea of course I did. Is there anything I can get for you? Is there anything you want or need me to do?" Amy said with a look of worry in her voice.

"Can you call my parents? They took Hope for the day since I had not been feeling very good. And can you ask my mom to pick up Holly and Kate from school?" Adrian said as she looked up at Amy.

"Alright. What about Bryan?" Amy asked her.

"Bryan." Adrian said as she thought long and hard about what to say or do.

"Yeah." Amy said as she watched Adrian's facial expressions change.

"I don't know if we should Amy. Or should I wait until I am more stable maybe. What would you do Amy?" Adrian asked her.

"If it was me and it was my husband I would tell him. He deserves to know and you cannot keep things from him especially like this." Amy said as she watched Adrian thinking about what she had just said.

"Yeah your right. Just leave a message and let him know I am doing good and so are the babies. Don't give him any cause to worry more." Adrian said as she gave Amy a very serious look.

"Ok." Amy said and then she felt her cell phone buzz. She pulled it out and she looked at her phone. It said I new text message. She read the text message: Ames I am here with John to pick up Anna. Meet me out front Dad.

"It's my dad. He is here to pick up Anna. I will be right back in a few minutes." Amy said and put her phone away. Then she unbuckled Lucy from her stroller and picked her up. Then she grabbed Anna's hand and they left the hospital. George had John and was waiting in the front of the emergency entrance. Amy walked over to them.

"Hi. How's Adrian doing?" George asked his daughter as he picked up Anna and strapped her into a carseat in the backseat next to John.

"She is more stable but still not out of the woods. They are going to monitor her and see how things go. Thanks dad for doing this. I really appreciate it." Amy said and then carefully with Lucy in arms gave her dad a very gentle hug.

"Your welcome Ames. Glad to help in any way that I can. If you need anything else give me or your mom a call." George said and then he got in the car and left.

Amy pulled out her phone and dialed Bryans and then Adrian's parents phones. She left messages and then she hung up the phone and went back into the hospital room where Adrian was. Amy noticed that Adrian had fallen asleep. So very quietly she placed a sleeping Lucy in her stroller and she took her seat again next to the bed.

Adrian was walking in the woods. There was fog all around her. Then out of the trees she saw someone walking toward her. It was a man. He had dark hair and he was wearing a white suit. Adrian gasped as she noticed who was standing there before her. It was someone she had lost so long ago. Someone who she loved very much and missed terribly. It was Ben.  
>Ben walked right up to Adrian and he placed his hand on her cheek. She felt his warmth and his familiar smell that she loved.<p>

"Adrian." Ben said in a soft voice.

"Ben is it really you? I mean it can't be. But you are so real and I can't believe it." Adrian said in shock.

"Yes it is really me. Adrian I have come to you to tell you to let me go. You must let me go completely. I know that when I went away that your heart broke. But you are a strong person Adrian. You pulled it together for yourself, our family, our friends, and for our daughter most of all." Ben said as his entire face lit up with joy.

"How do you know about our daughter? I never got the chance to tell you Ben. She is so sweet and funny. She reminds me of you every day. I wish you could have seen her and known her. I always felt like you got cheated in that way Ben. It is just so unfair. We were supposed to have had a second chance together. You, me and our daughter Hope. But it was all taken away just like that." Adrian said as her tears flowed down her cheeks.

"I have seen her Adrian. And she is beautiful and smart. She is everything I could have asked for in a daughter and more. I wish I could be there for you and for her. I am always watching though. I have seen much of her life from a distance but I have seen it. I know that he will be a good father to Hope. I have accepted things as they are. I know that you are trying but you still haven't yet not fully anyway." Ben said as he pulled Adrian's hands into her own.

"I know but it seems that no matter what I do everything and everyone I love seems to be taken away from me. And I can't shake that feeling as he is thousands of miles apart from me and our family. I just feel like I am going to lose him too. It is so unfair and cruel of all that was lost. All that we have given up in this life already. I just want a happy ending with those that I love. But I will never get that." Adrian said as she cried even more.

Ben wiped away her tears from her cheeks. "You will one day Adrian. And we all will be together once more. Not now but one day. But your time and your place are here now in this life. There are so many people who love you and need you Adrian. Probably more than you would ever think of. I know your hurting so much from all those who are no longer in your life. Don't cry anymore Adrian though. I know it wasn't fair, or maybe even should have been that way. No one knows how life is supposed to turn out or whats fair and whats not. I know that you are a very strong person and your life has led you in a different path with someone new. And I know that he loves you dearly Adrian. I wanted you to find love again and live life always to it's fullest. I know that we should have had a life together with so much happiness. But it wasn't meant to be and wanting it won't change any of it. But you have found happiness and love with the man in your life. You have to stop thinking what happened to me and our family is going to happen to him and your family that you have. You have to have faith that his fate is different from mine. You have to let go of the things you cannot change and do something about the ones that you can. I am begging you Adrian to just live life with little worry and as much happiness that you are given. I love you Adrian and I always will but our time together is over. I wish that it wasn't but it is. I love you honey just stay safe and be happy. Goodbye." Ben said as he touched Adrian's cheek one last time. Then he smiled at her and he turned and started to walk the way he came from.

"I love you too Ben very much. I always will. Goodbye." Adrian yelled after him as he walked away deeper into the forest until the fog took him from Adrian's sight. Adrian felt her tears flow freely once more as she watched the man that she had loved and had died in her arms walk away toward a different fate then with her. She sat down on the grass and she cried and cried. She felt like that scar from losing Ben and losing Mercy had just been ripped wide open again. She did not know why she felt that way but she did. Adrian cried and cried until no more tears would fall and then she stared off in the place where Ben had emerged and left just the same way as he had come. It only was a moment for him to come and then leave and he had not said there were any guarantees in this life either but she wanted there to be.


	17. Where Did You Go?

Ricky walked into the Adrian's room on the maternity ward. He saw Amy and Lucy near the bed sitting in a chair. Amy was holding Lucy and rocking her gently to sleep. Amy caught sight of him and she gave him a smile. He went over to them and gave Amy a gentle kiss on the lips. Then he took the empty seat next to Amy. Amy's phone buzzed in her pocket. She handed Lucy to Ricky who began to rock her and then picked up her phone. She noticed the caller I.D. and then left the room and went out into the hallway. Then she answered the phone call.

"Amy how is she doing?" Bryan said in a panic.

"Bryan she is doing well. Her contractions have stopped completely and the babies are doing good. They are only keep her in the hosptial for observation and to make sure everything is good to go. But she is doing well I promise. I wouldn't lie to you." Amy said into the phone.

"Thanks Amy. I appreciate you being straight with me. I knew when she didn't answer the phone at home or her cell phone that there was something wrong I just didn't think it was this. Amy I am so thankful that you were there to help Adrian and my family through this. Thank Cindy and Rueben for me too if you don't mind." Bryan said as he tried not to cry. Amy could hear the worry and sadness in his voice.

"Your very welcome Bryan. Ricky and I are staying here for a while and one of us will spend the night or if her mom wants to we will watch the kids and she can stay here with Adrian. But we won't let her alone. I promise you we will all look after her. Try not to worry to much about them. I will keep you informed on anything that changes as soon as I know anything. But for now everything is going ?" Amy said.

"I am trying. I know you will take care of her, I just wish I could be there for her and our family. But I will try not to worry. Thanks for letting me know again. I have to go. But please give her my love and the kids. Bye Amy." Bryan said.

"I will bye Bryan." Amy said and then hung up her she went back into the hospital room. She took her seat next to Ricky who had Lucy fast asleep in his arms. She sat down and then leaned over and gave Ricky a kiss on the lips.

"What was that for?" Ricky whispered cause Adrian was asleep.

"Just for being you and supports me and our family. I love you." Amy said as she looked into his eyes.

"Thank you and I love you too." Ricky said and gave Amy one more kiss.

"Amy, Ricky, he was just here." Adrian said as she looked around the room in confusion.

"Who was here Adrian?" Amy said.

"Ben was." Adrian said as Amy looked at her in confusion.

"Adrian I don't think..." Amy said and then stopped.

"I know what I saw. He was here." Adrian said as she looked at Amy in disbelief.

"Adrian he's been gone for a long time. Maybe you imagined it." Ricky said quietly.

"No he was here I didn't imagine him. It was so real. I could feel him and I could see him." Adrian said as she started to get upset.

"Adrian you have to calm down. I believe you and so does Ricky. But you need to stay calm and no stress. Ok?" Amy said with a very serious tone.

"Ok." Adrian said as she saw the worry in Amy's face and voice.

"I am going to go get the doctor and have him check on you. I just want to make sure you and the babies are all doing good." Amy said and then left the room. Adrian watched as she walked out.

"Adrian how are you doing really?" Ricky said as he watched her closely.

"I am ok. I mean I could of lost my babies but I am doing better. I just want everything to go good. Yet I know life is never perfect or always good but I still hope for it." Adrian said quietly as she stared out the window.

"It will be ok Adrian. I really believe that." Ricky said.

"No one can know that. I mean I want to believe that but I just can't stop thinking of what could go wrong." Adrian said as she put her hand on her belly and looked at her stomach for a long moment.

"Adrian you have to stop worrying. It won't do any good for you to worry. I know that if Bryan was here he would tell you the same thing." Ricky said in a soft tone.

"I know. Ben told me that too. He said I needed to let things go that I couldn't change and accept what was and not what I want or should of or could have been." Adrian said and again looked down at her belly.

Amy, and the doctor came into the room and the doctor went over to Adrian's bedside. "So how are you doing Adrian?" the doctor asked her.  
>"Ok. I am feeling really tired and I keep feeling like everything is going to go wrong." Adrian said as a few stray tears rolled down her cheeks.<p>

"Well you need to stop thinking like that. Stress only makes your condition worse. So no stress is good. I am going to check you real quick and do a quick exam." the doctor said.

So Ricky, Amy and baby Lucy left the room while the doctor took notes and gave Adrian a thorough exam. Amy and Ricky went to the restroom while the doctor was checking Adrian. Amy changed Lucy's diaper and nursed her. Then they both went back outside of Adrian's room and waited in the hallway. Then the doctor opened the door and he motioned for them to come in.

"So stay calm and no negative thoughts at all. Your looking good and doing well. So I will check up on you one more time tonight and then we'll see how your doing tomorrow and see if maybe you can go home. But when you do go home you will have to stay on bedrest until you deliver." the doctor told Adrian and then he said goodbye and left the room.

"Adrian your mom called while we left a few minutes ago and she wants to come stay with you tonight. I guess your dad is going to watch the girls. So we are going to get going. Amy is going to drop a bag off at your mom's for you. If you don't mind we'll go back to your house and get some stuff together and then your mom will bring them up. And your dad wants to know if he should bring the girls up for a quick visit and then he can take them back to your parents house and get them ready for bed?" Ricky asked Adrian.

"Yeah sounds good. Just make sure get the kids some clean clothes maybe a few days worth, toothbrushes, toothpaste, pajamas." Adrian said as she thought about what they would need.

"I know Adrian. I got it covered don't worry about anything it will all be taken care of." Amy said as she leaned down and gave Adrian a quick hug.

"I will try. See you all tomorrow." Adrian said and then they all left the hospital.

Amy and Ricky were walking out of the hosptial and Amy and Ricky both drove back to their apartment and dropped off Ricky's car and then drove back to Adrian's house. They packed a bag for Adrian and for the kids. Then they drove over to Cindy and Ruebens and dropped it off and went in for a minute and said hello to everyone and let them know what Adrian wanted them to do.

Then they went over to Amy's parents house and they picked up John and Anna. Then they all went home made dinner, gave the kids a bath, and put them down to bed. Amy and Ricky stood over Anna's bed and Lucy's crib and stared at their two girls for a long time. Then they left the room and both of them got ready for bed and laid down for the night.

Amy had just fallen asleep when the phone rang. She sat up in bed and turned on the light by her nightstand. Then she picked up the phone and she answered the phone. "Hello." Amy said into the phone.

"Amy?" the male voice said into the phone.

"Yes this is Amy who is this?" Amy said.

"It's Toby. Have you heard from Ashley at all in the last two days?" Toby said quickly.

"No I haven't. Is everything alright down there?" Amy asked as she heard the panic in Toby's voice.

"No. She told me she was coming up there to see you all and then when I got back from class there was a note saying she was flying out and that she would call me later that night. I haven't heard from her in two days since she left. She always calls me when she says she will. Something just isn't right here. I mean she would have called you or your family and let them know that she was coming. I just can't shake this bad feeling." Toby said as his fears could be heard in his voice.

"I will call her cell and see if I can get a hold of her. Stay by the phone and I will call you back in a few minutes. Bye." Amy said and she hung up the phone. Then she dialed her sister's cell phone number. She heard it ring and ring.

Then she heard her sister voice on the voicemail. "Hi you have reached Ashley. Leave a message, a number, and of course your name." Then she heard the beep and she began to leave a message. "Ashley, It's Amy. Please, please call me when you get this. I am extremely worried about you. Please call me." Amy then hung up the phone. She knew deep down that something wasn't right. 


	18. The Unknown

Five weeks had passed since Ashley had gone missing. Still no word or sighting from her. Everything that anyone could do was being done to bring her home safe. A police report for missing persons had been filed. Everyone was organizing searchs in California and in Florida. A reward was being offered for any information that led them to bringing Ashley home safe. They made phone calls, they printed up fliers, and they all were calling every police station, hospital, and anywhere they could think to call across the country and faxing the missing posters and still no one had seen or heard from Ashley.

Amy had worn herself down alot. She was taking care of a new baby only home for six weeks or so. She took care of John and Anna as well. She worked and she took care of Adrian and helped her with household chores, dinner, taking care of the girls and anything else they needed. And she was worried sick up Ashley. She spent her free time helping actively in the search for her. Amy had lost some weight, and she was tired alot. Mostly cause when she did sleep haunting images of Ashley came to her in nightmares once she closed her eyes. The thought of something going wrong. Amy just couldn't bring herself there.

Adrian was doing well though. She was on bedrest and adjusting fairly well. She had now reached 31 weeks in her pregnancy. Her mom, dad, Amy, Ricky, and Amy's parents all were helping her run the household and take care of everything that was needed. She wanted to be out helping with all of that but she knew she couldn't. Her babies depended on her to stay calm and not stress. Which she was trying very hard not to do. But she helped in way she could from her bed. She posted Ashley's picture on as many websites for missing persons that she could. As well as helping with calling leads and the police across the nation. Still Adrian wished she could do so much more only she knew she wasn't able to. She only prayed that Ashley would return home only that prayer had gone unanswered.

Adrian laid in bed one afternoon. She had just gotten off the phone with another lead. Dead end though. But then her cell phone rang out of the blue. Adrian picked up her cell next to her on the bed and answered it. "Hello?" Adrian said.

"Adrian! I need help! Please help me!" the voice said on the other end.

"Ashley is that you?" Adrian said in a panic into the phone.

"Adriannnn!" and then the phone went dead.

"Ashley! Ashley answer me! Are you there? Oh No." Adrian said into the phone.

Adrian stared at her phone she went back into her caller ID. It wasn't from Ashley's phone that the call came from but she knew that was Ashley's voice on the phone just now and she was frightened. And Adrian knew Ashley it took a lot to make her scared. Adrian dialed Amy's cell phone next. "Amy get over here now." Adrian said quickly.

"What something happened? Are you alright?" Amy asked as she was getting into the vehicle and started it and drove away from her apartment.

"I just need you here. I'll anwser all your questions when you get here. Drive safe. See you in a few minutes." Adrian said and hung up the phone. Then she dailed the detective assigned to Ashley's case and left him a message at his office tellling him in the message details of what had just happened.

Ten minutes later Amy pulled up in front of Adrian's house. She parked the vehicle and ran to the front door. She then opened the door and ran into the house to Adrian's bedroom. She opened the door and saw the worry on Adrian's face. Amy knew something must have happened. She sat down on the bed slowly next to Adrian. She took a few deep breaths from all the running. "You can tell me Adrian." Amy said as she saw the fear in Adrian's eyes.

"I just got a call twenty minutes ago. It was an unknown caller but it was Ashley. I knew it was her as soon as she talked into the phone." Adrian said quietly.

"Theres more isn't there?" Amy said as she took in Adrian's composure.

"Yes. She asked for helped. She begged and pleaded for help. She was so scared Amy. I have never heard Ashley so afraid before since I have known her. Something is really wrong I know it." Adrian said as she put her hand on Amy's hand and squezzed it. She felt like she was offering some of the worst news she ever would have to.

"Did you call the police?" Amy asked.

"Yeah already did that and left a message with the detective he hasn't gotten back to me yet." Adrian told her.

"Why is this happening? I just want her back. She is my little sister. I love her. And now we know she is in some kind of trouble and I don't know where she is or how I can get to her to help her. I just want her safe and home." Amy said as she put her hands to her face and let the tears run down her face.

Adrian patted Amy's back. "I know Amy. But everyone is doing everything that they can to try to find Ashley and to bring her home safely. I know what is happening isn't fair or right. But bad things happen in our lives. They may not make sense but they happen. We just try to live through them is all. But I know that where ever Ashley is she is a very strong woman and she will do everything she can to get back to your family. You have to believe that." Adrian said quietly to Amy.

"I know. It's the thought of someone hurting her or worse..." Amy said as she pondered several possibilities.

"You cannot let your mind go there Amy. It won't do her or you any good. Believe me it won't help anyone." Adrian said as she thought back to that time in her life where she thought about when Ben had died.

Two more days passed by since Ashley had called Adrian's phone. Everyone was on edge and no one got much sleep as everyone kept their phones nearby them. Waiting...waiting... and waiting. It seemed like it had been an eternity of continous waiting. The detective had traced the number back to a prepay phone you buy at any local store. But no more calls came from Ashley. But everyone still hoped that she would call back.

Amy was at home. She had just nursed Lucy and changed her diaper. Then she put her down for a nap. Then she checked on Anna who was already napping in her bed next to Lucy's crib. Amy heard her phone ring. She ran from the girls bedroom into her own bedroom. Amy snatched up her cell phone and answered immediatly. "Hello?" Amy said anxiously.

"Is this Amy Underwood?" the voice said into the phone.

"Yes. Who is this?" Amy asked.

"I am Dr. Hughes. I am working in the ER at the California Memorial Hospital. We have a young woman who was brought in yesterday. She doesn't have any identification on her. But she matches the pictures of the missing woman on your fliers. I was hoping you could come down and make a positive ID." Dr. Hughes said into the phone.

"Yeah. I will be their in an hour. Dr. Hughes how is she doing?" Amy asked quietly.

"I won't lie to you Mrs. Underwood she is in bad shape. She has a broken hand and ankle. She has several bruises covering over half her body. She is in a coma and had shown no signs of coming out of it yet. We had to put her on a ventilator to help her breath. There are a few other things we can discuss when you get here and make sure it really is her." Dr. Hughes said and then he stopped after a bit.

"Alright. I will be there in about an hour or so. Thank you for contacting me." Amy said.

"Your welcome see you in hour." Dr. Hughes said and then hung up the phone.

Amy called her parents and asked them to watch the kids and pick up John from school. Then she called Ricky and he left work. Then they both left from their apartment to make the forty-five minute drive to the hosptial. It seemed like an eternity to them. But soon the hospital came into view. Ricky parked the car. Then he and Amy went inside hand and hand to hopefully find Ashley and bring her home no matter what. 


	19. Where Do We Go From Here?

Amy and Ricky walked slowly with Dr. Hughes through the hospital hallways hand in hand. Amy felt her heart start to race with every step that they got closer to the ICU. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. Ricky squeezed her hand with encouragement. She gave him a small smile. And finally Dr. Hughes stopped in front of the ICU wing of the hospital. Amy's heart skipped a beat. They stopped for only a moment but it seemed longer somehow to Amy. And finally they walked into ICU with Dr. Hughes. They walked passed several rooms until they stopped in front of one. Amy looked through the window and saw a young woman with dark hair but she was all bandaged up on her face and Amy could not tell if it was her. Then Dr. Hughes motioned for them to follow. And they did very slowly.

Then Amy and Ricky stood in the ICU room of a woman who was in a coma and breathing with the help of the machine. She had the same colored hair as Ashley. Only this woman had been beaten and hurt badly. It was very had to recognize her face as it was bruised and swollen badly. So Amy went over to the bed. She pulled back the sheet near Ashley's left ankle. Then she looked at her ankle. There was the butterfly tattoo that Ashley had gotten in Florida a few years ago. Amy knew then that this woman was her sister. Her heart broke at that very moment. Ricky went over to her and put his arms around her and held her close to him. Then Amy stood up and turned to the doctor, Dr. Hughes.

"It's her. She had a tattoo of a butterfly on her ankle. That is Ashley Juergens." Amy said as she tried to keep back her tears but they only kept flowing. And so many questions began to run through her mind.

"Mr. and Mrs. Underwood if we can speak in my office for a few minutes." Dr. Hughes said and they both followed him down the hall to a small office. They took the two seats in front of the desk and Dr. Hughes sat down behind the desk. He then turned toward Amy and Ricky. Amy noticed he had a sad expression on his face.

"Ashley as we now know her name had been through a lot. Someone found her in the parking lot. She was alone and she was barely conscious when they found her. Little is known how she came to be in this state now. She suffered several blows to her head and neck. She malnourished and underweight. She is very lucky she was found when she was. Any longer and she might not be here at all." the doctor said

"What are her chances of making a recovery from all of this?" Ricky asked.

"She has fifty fifty I would say. But there is more. We examined Ashley thoroughly when she first was brought in. We did bloodwork. Ashley is pregnant." Dr. Hughes said as he took in Amy and Ricky's shocked expressions.

"We didn't know that. Do you know how far along she is?" Amy asked in fear of the answer.

"She is about five weeks pregnant." Dr. Hughes said.

Amy's heart sunk. She knew that the odds of Toby, Ashley fiancee and longtime boyfriend being the dad were slim. Possible but slim. She couldn't even imagine what Ashley had been through. She felt sick to her stomach. Amy got up from the chair and ran out into the hall. She threw up in the trash can at the end of the hall. Then she went to the restroom. She washed her mouth out with water. Then she splashed water on her face and hands. Then she stared in the mirror for the longest time. She couldn't believe this was happening. Her sister had been threw something horrible. And someone out there knew and was responsible for this. Amy felt sick at thought of having to tell her parents the news of Ashley's condition and her pregnancy.

She left the bathroom and rejoined Dr. Hughes and Ricky back in the office. She sat down next to Ricky. Ricky's expression was one of worry and concern. He grabbed her hand and tightly squeezed it. Then Amy turned her attention to the doctor agian. "Where do we go from here?" Amy asked.

"Well we continue to monitor Ashley and try to get her stable enough to get her off the machines and hopefully get her out of the coma. But there is no certainty that she will wake up but we are going to do everything that we can. If you give me your parents number I can call them and explain the details of Ashley's condition to them if you would like." Dr. Hughes said.

Amy nodded her head and wrote on the piece of paper the doctor had given her. Then they left the office stunned by everything that they had just witnessed and learned. Amy felt like someone was playing a very cruel joke on her. Or perhaps it was all a really bad dream and at any moment she was going to wake up and all of this would be over and never have happened at all. But she knew better. It wasn't either of those things. It was her life and Ashley's life and everyone else around them and Amy knew that everyone's life has just changed today. And after what had happened she knew she would never be the same and neither would Ashley either.

Amy and Ricky walked slowly back to Ashley's room in the ICU. They could see her from the window in the hallway. Amy burst out into tears and sank to the floor. Ricky was right after her supporting her with his arms. He encircled her in his embace and held her their. Amy cried for Ashley. For everything she had been through and everything she was still going through as well. Amy cried as if someone had ripped her heart wide open and left it bleeding. And Amy was forever changed by all the recent events happening all around her.

Ricky held onto her for dear life. He felt like she was slipping away from him. He embraced her with all of her pain and sadness. He loved her so much and to see her in so much pain nearly killed him. He knew that Amy was a stong person yet she was also vulnerable. And Ashley's situation hurt like a knife cutting into her heart. They sat there in each other's arms for what seemed like ages and Ricky rocked Amy as she cried.

Amy's phone rang after a while. Ricky took it from Amy as she handed it to him. He looked at the caller ID. It was Toby calling. He answered the phone. "Toby it is Ricky. They found Ashley. She is in California Memorial Hospital in the ICU. You need to catch a flight to California as soon as you can. She needs you now." Ricky said into the phone.

"They found her! Wait is she gonna be ok?" Toby asked in joy then in panic as Ricky's words set in.

"Just get here as fast as you can k?" Ricky asked.

"Alright I'll be there soon." Toby said and hung up the phone as he rushed to get ready to leave.

Ricky then gave the phone back to Amy. Amy put it in her pocket. Then she looked up at Ricky and she kissed him. She kissed him as if this was there last kiss ever to be shared together. She kissed him as if the world was ending. Ricky then pulled back and looked deep into Amy's eyes He saw hurt, confusion, pain, sadness, and love. Ricky kissed her forehead and held onto her tightly once more.

"Oh God Ricky. Why is this happening? Ashley never deserved any of this and her life has been changed in a instant. I cannot even imagined what she has been through or what the future holds for her. She may not even make..." Amy said and stopped.

"Don't even think about that. We just need to concentrate on the positive. She is alive Amy. And she is in a safe place and all you need to think about at this time is how we can get Ashley well and in good health again. The rest can all wait until later." Ricky said.

"But what about the baby Ricky?" Amy said as she looked up at him.

"That's not our decision to make. That is Ashley's and perhaps Toby as well. But not ours or anyone elses but hers to make. So as I said leave the rest till later and focus on Ashley and getting her well. Please for me?" Ricky said as he looked down at her sad face and eyes.

"Alright." Amy said and then she sat there in her husband's arms and stayed still and quiet and took time to absorb everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. She knew there was so much to be done but for now they just took a few moments together amid the chaotic events going on. 


	20. A Great Loss

Twenty four hours had passed since Ashley had been found. She was still stable but still no change in her present condition. Amy had spent the last twenty four hours calling Adrian, Grace, her parents, Ricky's family, and many others she could barely remember. They had gotten a hotel room next to the hospital. George and Anne were watching the kids but had made arangements for Donovan and Leon to watch Robbie and Shakur and Margaret were taking care of John, Anna, and Lucy along with help from Nora. George and Anne were making the trip up to see Ashley and to just spend time with her. Grace and Jack were taking care of Adrian and the girls along with Adrian's parents while Amy and Ricky were unable to do it. Bryan had called sending his apologies but happy that they had found Ashley alive. Everyone was all pulling together to help out in anyway that they could. But no one knew the outcome of what Ashley's future held for her.

Amy and Ricky were in their hotel room getting ready to meet with George and Anne as soon as they arrived. Amy was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She felt a wave of nausea hit her. And then she rushed to the toilet and threw up. She washed face and hands. Then she rebrushed her teeth and finished getting ready. Ricky was already dressed and ready when she left the bathroom. He looked at her with concern. Then he went over to her. He felt her head and looked at her closely.

"Amy are you feeling alright? Your so pale. You don't seem to have a fever." Ricky said as he held his hand to her cheek.

"I threw up for the third time since yesterday. It must just be my nerves with everything going on now." Amy said as she gave him a quick kiss.

"I'm worried about you. Maybe it's something else." Ricky said.

"Ricky I am fine. I have been spreading myself to thin probably with everything happening with Adrian and with Ashley. I just need some food and a good night's sleep tonight." Amy said trying to relieve his fears. But when Amy looked at him she knew she hadn't.

"I am keeping a close eye on you Amy. I think it's more than that. I mean you have lost weight and your so pale. I am concerned." Ricky said to his wife.

"If I don't feel better in a few days I promise I will go get checked out by the doctor." Amy said and kissed him once more.

Then there was a knock at the door. Amy walked over and opened the door. Her parents were there with a bag of clothes and other items for Ricky and Amy. Amy allowed them to come in and then she closed the door behind them. George and Anne took a seat on the couch while Amy and Ricky sat on the bed. George put the bag beside the couch on the floor. Anne was looking at Amy and was very concerned. "Amy, honey how are you feeling?" Anne asked her.

"Ok. I am tired but probably cause of everything going on. I threw up a couple of times but I just think it's nerves." Amy said with a smile.

"Well you don't look good at all. Maybe you should lay down and sleep for a while." Anne said with concern for her eldest daughter.

"I am fine besides I want to be there with you when you see Ashley." Amy replied but then another wave of nausea hit her and she ran to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She threw up once again. Then she heard a knock at the door. She opened it and it was Ricky. He went over to her and looked very very concerned about her.

"Amy we are all extremely worried about you. I really wished you would let a doctor check you out." Ricky said.

"I'll be fine. But I think I will sleep for a while. But you go with Mom and Dad and make sure there alright. It will be a shock for them. They're going to need you there for support in this hard time. I will get some rest I promise just take them to see Ashley." Amy said.

"Ok but I'll make sure there alright and then I coming back here in an hour." Ricky said and he kissed her forehead and then left the room.

After a few minutes Amy heard the front door open then close again. She sat on the cover of the toilet seat. She knew she felt horrible. She had been for at least a week. But she didn't want to bother anyone or concern them especially with everything going on. But she had been nauseated for at least two weeks. And she felt so tired. She just kept telling herself she would be alright. She felt pain her in stomach that morning and it only seemed to get worse. So Amy went and laid down for a few hours.

An hour or so later after Ricky had brought Anne and George to Ashley and after the shock of her condition had calmed down he left them at the hospital. He parked the car and locked it. Then he got his key out and put it into the door. Then he unlocked it and he opened it. He saw Amy was in bed. But her face was that of pain and she was so pale. He rushed over to the bed to see her.

"Amy what is it?" Ricky asked her.

"I don't know my stomach hurts so bad and I have been bleeding when I went to the bathroom. Oh!" Amy's eyes got big and she fainted. Ricky extremely worried pulled the blankets back and he discovered a lot of blood on the sheets. He called for an ambulance he immediately.

Another hour later they were at the same hospital as Ashley was. Ricky was in the emergency room waiting on word from Amy. The nurse finally came out and got him and brought him back to Amy's room. He went in. She was awake. She was still very pale and she looked so wore out. He went over to her and kissed her forehead. The doctor was finishing up her exam and then she washed her hands and turned to them.

"I have done a complete exam and tests. Amy we ran a pregnancy test and it came up positive. But you miscarried. I am very sorry. I know that this is very hard news but it doesn't mean that you cannot conceive and carry a pregnancy to term. Loss does happen and it's for reasons that are no fault of your own."

Amy and Ricky took in the words the doctor had just said and they both looked at each other in shock. Neither had expected this news at all. "I didn't know I was pregnant. We weren't trying for a baby." Amy said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Were you on a form of birth control? And did you ever miss any?" the doctor asked Amy.

"I might have. It's hard to remember. There's been so much going on with my sister and my friend. It is possible though that I did." Amy wiped away her tears.

"Well we are going to keep you overnight for obeservation after you lost so much blood and you passed out. But in the morning if all else is well you can go home. And you will have to follow up with your doctor back home as well. I know this is very hard time but it's better it happened now then further in your pregnancy. I will be back later and in the meantime the nurses are going to move you to a room upstairs. Get some rest and I will check up on you later today. And if there is anything else I can do for you don't hesitate to let me know." the doctor said and then she left the room.

Ricky at this point had taken a seat next to Amy's bed. He was in complete shock. He felt very sad at their loss. He hadn't imagined another child for a few more years possibly, but now he couldn't imagine their life without the child they had just lost. He felt a few tears fall but he brushed them aside. He held Amy's hand tightly. They held onto one another for a few minutes both sad and hurt by their recent loss.

A few hours later Amy was asleep in her hospital room. Ricky left for a few minutes and went back to the hotel room. He picked up the bag that Amy's parents had brought them. Then he looked over at the bed where Amy had lost the baby. He sat down on the couch and he cried and cried. He cried for their loss, and for the pain that Amy was going through. He cried for Adrian knowing her great loss of her first child that had hurt her and Ben so deeply. He cried for Ashley and Toby all they had been through and would have yet to go through. He cried for his three kids at home who would never know the child that no one had known about until it was too late but everyone would have loved so much. And finally he cried for his own loss. He cried for along time. Then he wiped away his tears, grabbed the bag, locked the door and left to go back to the hospital where his wife was also dealing with the loss of their child.


	21. Bittersweet Moments

The next day Amy had been released. She was doing better but still needed alot of rest and recovery time. Ricky brought her back to the hotel. Only he had arranged for them to stay in another room. So they went to the new room and he got Amy in bed. Then he layed down next her and wrapped his arms next to her. And they layed that way quietly in each other's embrace for a while.

"I am sorry Ricky." Amy said as her tears started to fall.

"Amy it is not your fault. I would never think that or blame you. You heard the doctor this morning. She told you there was probably something not right with the baby and that was why you miscarried. You cannot blame yourself. I want you to stop that right now." Ricky said in a high voice.

"Now I have made you angry." Amy said.

"No you haven't. I just do not want to hear you talk like that anymore." Ricky said as he kissed her cheek.

"What am I supposed to tell everyone about what happened?" Amy asked him.

"You don't have to tell them anything. I told your parents that you weren't feeling good and you went to the hospital and the doctor decided to keep you overnight and that you needed your rest. They understood and they are dealing with Ashley and Toby arrived this morning and he just found out about Ashley being pregnant and he is taking it hard. But the doctor said they can do a DNA test if he and Ashley decide they want to when Ashley reached nine to twelve weeks I guess. I just want you to get well and get some rest." Ricky said.

"I would have wanted that baby so bad. Even though it was so shortly after having Lucy. And our apartment is too small. And we both work so much. I still would have wanted that baby so much." Amy said quietly.

"I know I would have loved another baby. But it wasn't meant to be Amy." Ricky said. And eventually they both laid quiet again and fell asleep after the long last few days.

Later that night the phone rang. Ricky awoke and picked up his cell phone. He answered the call. "Hello?" He said half asleep.

"Ricky can you and Amy come to the hospital as soon as you can. Ashley just woke up and she is asking for you both." George said in a high voice.

"Yeah give us a few minutes we both just woke up. And Amy cannot stay too long but we will be there. Bye." Ricky said and then he hung up the phone.

Thirty minutes later they walked into Ashley's ICU room. She was now off the breathing machine and she was awake. Toby, Anne, and George were all there. Amy went over to Ashley's bedside. She picked up her hand. "Ashley I am so glad to see you awake." Amy said as she smiled at her sister.

"I am safe?" Ashley said as she looked around at everyone.

"Yes, you are safe. Ashley what happened to you out there?" Amy asked her gently.

"It was horrible. The night before I left I spent a special evening with Toby and I packed my bag. Then he left the next morning to go to class. Then I got into my car and drove to the airport. I was coming home for the week to see everybody. I got on the plane and everything went ok. But when I went to the parking lot in the airport there was a man there. I had went to pick up my rental car. He had a gun and he pointed at my head. I thought he wanted the car but he shoved me into the passengers seat. We drove for hours and then we made our way into the woods and we went to a cabin. It was awful. He kept me there and he beat me and he... I didn't think I would make it out alive. Finally after weeks I think, I finally made it free and I ran and ran and finally I was near a parking lot but I was so exhausted and I could hardly remember anything after that." Ashley said as the fear in her eyes and her voice came very real to everyone.

"A nurse found you in the parking lot of the hospital. They brought you in and treated you. And they contacted me after we had faxed posters with your picture to several places. Ricky and I came up and we identified you to them. And you have been in a coma for about a week. But we have only been here with you the last few days. We have been so worried about you. There's more Ashley. Dr. Hughes who has been treating you ran some tests. They found out that your five weeks pregnant." Amy said as she felt her heart break a little more as she told the news to her sister.

"I thought I might be. After some time my period didn't come. I just hoped it wasn't that though. What am I going to do?" Ashley said and then she looked over at Toby who gave her a small smile from across the room.

"I don't know Ashley. But that is something you will have to decide. There are people here who can help you with choices and options. But if you want they can do a DNA test in a few weeks if that's what you want." Amy said as she watched Ashley face.

Ashley looked over at Toby and she thought about it for a few seconds and she knew it could be his child and even if there was the slightest chance she had to take it. She didn't want to take the chance if it was his baby. "Ok I will wait and have the test at that point.

Five weeks passed by. Amy, Ricky, George, and Anne drove up to see Ashley every week while Toby stayed at the hotel up there and looked after her. In that five weeks alot had happened. Adrian finally graduated from college. Although she couldn't attend the ceremony she was still glad to be done with school at least for now. Amy had healed from the miscarriage physically but she and Ricky still had the emotional scars left behind. Lucy continued to thrive and do well and measuring right where her doctor hoped she would. John's yearly screen for his cancer came back good. And Anna brought joy to everyone no matter the situation. The police had taken Ashley's statement and others and were now using the information to try to catch the person. Ashley had the procedure to have the paternity test. The results were in and everyone had decided to be there for them no matter what would happen. Everyone had driven back up to find out the results of the paternity test. Everyone was in Ashley's hospital room. The doctor came in and handed the results to Ashley. Then the doctor left quietly.

Ashley stared at the enevelope. Her future would change one way or the other. She thought she had wanted to know but maybe she didn't want to after all. She felt a few tears stream down her face. She quickly wiped them away. So much she had suffered, so much she had lost, so much had changed. She never thought she would have to make the decision that she might have to make. And she didn't know if she could go through with it even if she made that choice. Ashley looked over at Amy. Her blue eyes were filled with tears and so much sadness and pain. Amy went over to Ashley. She embraced her and gave her a hug.

"Do you want me to read the results?" Amy asked her. Ashley shook her head yes and then handed the enevelope to her sister.

Amy took it and slowly opened it. She pulled the paper out and she looked at for a long moment. She gasped and then she started to cry. Everyone looked over at her with concern. "No it's good. Toby is the father. He is." Amy said and then she embraced Ashley and then Toby, her parents, and lastly her husband.

Toby went over to Ashley and he kissed her cheeks and then her hands. Ashley gave him a smile for the first time since the entire ordeal. Yet everyone knew Ashley had a very long road of recovery in front of her. But this was good news and she was glad it was. Everyone left the room quietly to give Ashley and Toby some time alone together to absorb the news.

Amy and Ricky got into the car and Ricky drove the long drive home. Just as they were entering the city where they lived Amy's phone went off. Amy opened the new text message that had shown up on her phone. It read: I am at the hospital. I am in labor. But will have to have C-section. Adrian. "Ricky you have to go to the hospital. Adrian's having the twins like now." Amy told her husband. He turned the car around and drove as fast as he could to the hospital.

A half hour later Amy had scrubbed and been given a pair of scrubs. And she was brought into the operating room. Adrian was laid out on the table with a sheet hung up so she couldn't see them doing the surgery. Amy was instructed to take a seat next to Adrian. "I am here Adrian." Amy said with a smile.

"I am glad you are here. Next to Bryan being here I couldn't think of anyone I would rather have here with me during this wonderful event." Adrian said.

Then after a few minutes a small cry was heard. "You have a fine healthy little boy." Then the doctor held him over for Adrian could see. She admired his little face. Then the doctor handed the baby off to the nurse who took him to get cleaned up and evaluated. Then Adrian felt a little more pressure and a few minutes later another cry was heard from behind the sheet. "A fine baby girl. Hi mommy." the doctor said and then held up the little girl up for Adrian to see. She was a beautiful little girl. Then another nurse took the baby girl and took her to also get evaluated and cleaned up.

Amy squeezed Adrian's hand. She had tears streaming down her face. But they were happy tears. Amy wiped them away with a kleenex. Then she wiped away her own happy but bittersweet tears. She was thrilled for her friends and their new babies, but Amy knew she would never get the child she had lost. She would never be able to hold them or be with them and that hurt. But she pushed that aside and she enjoyed the moment with Adrian and the babies.  
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	22. Keeping It All Together?

Later that day Adrian was in her hospital room holding her son. And Amy was holding Adrian's daughter. Both had been checked and doing well even at thirty-six weeks. They weighed six pounds, and six pounds two onces respectively. Ricky stood next to Amy and admired the little girl in her arms. Adrian was looking at her son and then at her daughter she just couldn't believe everything had turned out just fine. She had given Bryan a call and he had been thrilled by the news and very excited that it had all turned out good.

"Do you have names for these two little ones?" Amy asked.

"Yeah Bryan and I decided to go with Natalie Grace for the girl and for the boy Noah Samuel. What do you guys think?" Adrian asked them honestly.

"I think it fits them both. I am so happy for you and Bryan. These two little ones are such a wonderful gift for your family. I hope that they fill your life with joy and happiness always." Amy said as her tears hit her hard and the truth of her own words as she stared down at the perfect little Natalie little face. Amy quietly put Natalie back in her crib and she went over to Adrian. "I am sorry Adrian. I am wiped and I just need to go home and get some rest. But we will be back tomorrow. " Then she leaned down and she gave Adrian a gentle hug. Then Ricky gave her a hug as well.

"Ok. Thanks for being here. It meant a lot to me and to Bryan. Get some rest. See ya tomorrow." Adrian said and then looked down at her son who was asleep in her arms and Adrian was staring in awe at her child.

Amy and Ricky walked quietly out of the hospital. Then they both got into the car. Amy felt her tears break like a waterfall. Ricky embraced her with all her pain and sadness. And they held one another. It seemed like all the blows kept coming at them over time. And it seemed that it was getting hard to remember the happy times that they had and shared together. Amy sobbed and she couldn't stop. She had done that a lot since the miscarriage.

Later on at home after they checked on the kids who were asleep when they got home. Ricky's mom Margaret had watched them and but them to bed and cleaned up afterwards. Then she went home as soon as they got back. Amy and Ricky laid in bed wrapped in each other's arms. And Amy's tears started all over again. She held onto tightly. He was her constant in life. He kept her grounded and she completed him. And they stayed like that the rest of the night.

The next morning Amy sat on the couch and was going through the photo albums. Then she looked up at the photos on the wall. There was one of her and Ricky on their wedding day. There was a baby picture for John, Anna, and recently added one for Lucy. Then there was one of Ricky in his formal picture in uniform. And then another of Ricky, Amy, John, and Anna. Her life displayed in front of her. But yet she felt like a piece would always be missing from her life.

Ricky quietly came up and sat down on the couch next to Amy. He put his arm around her shoulders and he looked at the family photo wall that she was staring up at. He knew what she was thinking cause he had looked at the wall a thousand times since the miscarriage and felt so sad. He knew that the baby they lost would never have their picture up there or be a part of their lives. It wasn't meant to be.

"It's just not fair. I am happy for Adrian. I really am it's just it is so hard to sit there and hold her babies in my arms and know that I will have get to hold my child in my own arms. And I feel like a deep part of my heart broke away when I lost our baby. I just don't think that void will ever be filled. It hurts so much." Amy said as she put her hands to her face and let her sadness through.

"I know. It feel like someone ripped a part of my heart out. And no matter what I do it doesn't stop hurting. We can't expect anything to ever heal that. But we have to go on with life even when you hurt like your cut open and bleeding. We owe that to that baby, to our children, and to ourselves. I know your hurting so much, so am I. But I know that we will have happy times again in the future. We just have to make it through this rough part of our journey.

"I hope so. Cause I have the hardest time going even an hour without thinking about our loss and the pain that rips my heart out every time. I know that I love you and our family. I know our life has never been easy but it has always been worth the journey and the fight to stay together. I just hope our time for the sun to shine is coming soon. Because it is always warmer standing out in the sun." Amy said as she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Ricky's lips.

"Yes very well put. And it will come again Ames. I promise you that." Ricky said as he stared into her sad eyes. Then he pulled her closer into his embrace and they continued to look through the photo albums on the coffee table.

Later on that afternoon they all went to the hospital and made their way to Adrian's hospital room. Amy and Ricky had left the kids with Ricky's parents for a few hours while they made a visit. Amy had a card and flowers for Adrian. They knocked on the door. They heard Adrian say for them to come in. They walked in and saw Adrian holding Natalie and Grace and Jack where there with their one year son Shawn who was chewing on a rubber duck and having quite a good time with it. Grace was holding baby Noah in her arms and rocking him. Everyone looked very happy to be there. Amy went over to Adrian and placed the flowers on the nightstand next to her bed and put the card and the giftbag she had also brought next to them.

"Aw thanks Amy and Ricky you didn't have to do that, but it was very nice of you." Adrian said as she looked over at the items that Amy had just put down next to her.

"Would you like to hold her?" Adrian said. And Amy shook her head yes and gently took the sleeping baby from Adrian and rocked her softly.

Adrian picked up the gift bag and the card. She opened the card first and she read threw it and then she opened the giftbag and pulled out a blue and pink onsies, along with two small teddy bears, and lastly two matching hats to go with them.

"Thank you guys so much. This means so much to me. I feel so loved and not so alone with Bryan overseas. I feel like you are my family and I am so glad that you are all here to be able to share this wonderful time in my life with me and my family. Thank you all so much." Adrian said as she watched her friends all around her happy and enjoying the two new lives that she and Bryan had created and brought into this world. She smiled at them and they all gave her a smile back. And they all just shared a few quiet moments enjoying the gentle quietness of their family being together because that was what everyone was to each other, friends, family for always. 


	23. Your Not Alone Even With All Your Wounds

Another month had passed by and Adrian and the babies had been released. They were now settled in at home and with help from Cindy, Rueben, Amy, Ricky, Grace, and Jack it made it alot easier to raise all five of the kids and take care of the house. Although Adrian was very busy and tired she loved it. She couldn't imagine her life without the kids, or Bryan and her family and friends that she held close to her. Life was going well for her. Bryan was checking in as often as he could and he was safe. And Adrian was extremely happy with her life and the direction it was going. But Ashley on the other hand was having a harder time adjusting to the daily life. She had been released from the hospital. She was almost physically healed from her wounds, but the scars beneath were still wide open and bleeding. She was into her fifteenth week of her pregnancy and all was going well. She and Toby were staying in California for a while. Ashley was back at her parent's house and Toby was staying with his family as well. Even though Ashley made an effort to go to her talk to a therapist, see her doctors and help the police with their investigations everyone could tell that Ashley had been changed immensely from her experience. Although everyone was trying to move on from the wounds that had been inflicted.

Amy had just arrived at Adrian and Bryan's house. She unlocked the door and brought Lucy in her carseat inside. Then she put her in the living room where Adrian was taking care of the twins. Then Amy hauled in the groceries that Adrian had asked her to pick up. After a few minutes she had everything put away and then she straightened up the kitchen. Then she joined Adrian in the living room. Adrian was on the phone with Bryan when she walked in.

"Yeah there doing great. Noah is growing like crazy and Natalie is right behind him. Noah looks more like you everyday it's crazy. Sometimes he makes the same faces as you do. And Natalie is such a little ham. She is always smiling and totally happy with everything. I think she is going to be a content baby except when she is hungry or need a diaper change. I am glad you got the pictures I sent you. I miss you Bryan. I love you." Adrian said with a huge smile.

"Yeah I am slowing down. Everyone is taking good care of all of us. And Holly and Kate are doing pretty good. I know you worry about them as do I but they are adjusting well. And Hope is doing well too. Ok. I love you sweetheart. I will talk to you soon. Bye." Adrian said and then hung up the phone.

"Sounds like he is happy. As are you too I mean." Amy said as she saw the happiness in Adrian's face.

"I am about many things. Thank you all for your help. I don't know how I can ever repay you guys for all that you have done." Adrian said and gave Amy a quick hug.

Then they both sat there and watched the babies asleep. Lucy was fast asleep in her carseat taking a nap. And Noah and Natalie were asleep in their swings. While Hope was upstairs taking a nap and Holly and Kate were in school. The house was very quiet and it was a peaceful moment for everyone amongst all the crazy and sad ones that had been happening over the last few months. Amy stayed a while and helped Adrian with the kids and the chores but then she left and began to drive.

Amy drove up to her parents house with Lucy in the back of the car. She picked up Lucy out of her carseat and went inside her parent's house. She saw Ashley sitting alone on the couch. She was physically there but Amy could see she was miles away mentally. Amy put Lucy in the swing and strapped her in. Then she went and sat down next to Ashley. Amy could see the hurt in her eyes. Ashley turned and looked over at her sister with the saddest eyes. Amy turned and embraced her tightly. And Ashley finally lost her composure and let her tears fall. Amy held onto her and let her cry all the tears, all the wounds, all the horrible things that she had been through.

Finally after a few minutes Ashley pulled back and she wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I feel like someone walked up and took the mirror of my life and shattered it before my very own eyes. And no matter how much I try I cannot make the pieces fit. Some are to small, while others are completely shattered. How does someone put together pieces that don't fit anymore? Cause I feel like all my energy is gone from trying. I know you all want me to be the same old Ashley but she is gone, she died when I went missing and she is never coming back. Amy I feel like I am dying inside. Like every day I am suffocating inside. Nothing feels right or fits anymore. I feel like I am slipping into the darkness and I cannot come back. And the truth is I just want to give up. I don't want to keep fighting the shadows anymore. I just want to give in and let them consume me and maybe then it will numb the pain. Everywhere I am I don't feel safe anymore. I feel like he is there waiting for me. And I just want to run. And the nightmares haunt my dreams. Amy when does it get better? Because I feel like it is only getting worse. I don't know what to do anymore." Ashley said as if her heart was broken and her soul defeated. It crushed Amy to see her sister who was once so full of life, now filled with horrible pain and so hopeless. It killed her inside.

"I don't know Ash. But we are all here for you and we only want you to be happy. No one cares who you are or aren't. We just want you in our life. When you disappeared and we couldn't find you... We thought maybe you weren't coming back at all. And it crushed me Ashley to know that you could be somewhere lifeless and no one would know what happened to you or where your final resting place would be. When I found out you were alive I made a promise to myself no matter what shape you were in I would do everything I could to help you. But I don't know how to help you Ashley. Everyday, I and everyone else are watching you slip further and further from reality. I know you have been through hell but you have to hold on Ashley. Cause we all need you in our lives. You mean everything to all of us. I know your tired and you feel like your drowing but I can't lose you again. I need you right now. It's been so hard without you. I love you and I want you to keep fighting. Let me be your strength. Let Toby be, our parents. But please don't let that evil psycho ruin your life. I know you went through horrible things that I cannot even imagine, but don't let him have the power over you." Amy said to Ashley from the bottom of her heart.

"I am trying. It is so hard Amy. Everyday I get up and I just want to lay there and put the covers over my head, but I know that I have to take care of this child I am carrying. And that is one of the only reasons that push me to keep living. But I will keep trying for all the reasons you said. But I am going to need you Amy. I am going to need you more than I have ever before in my life." Ashley said and threw her arms around her sister and both of them cried for a while.

Later that night Amy arrived home with Lucy who was fast asleep. Amy walked in the front door with the baby carseat in hand and Ricky was already there with a candlelit dinner. Anna and John were already fed, cleaned up, and in bed for the night. Amy walked over to Ricky and put Lucy gently down on the floor in her carseat. Then she hugged Ricky in a tight embrace. Then she pulled back and kissed him with a deep passion. He kissed her back with even more passion. Then they pulled apart out of breath. Amy stared into her husband's eyes. She saw compassion, love, hope, happiness, and a gentle soul.

"What's the occasion?" Amy asked then.

"I just wanted a romantic evening with my wife once the kids were in bed. And I know you had a rough afternoon with Ashley. Toby said texted me right after you left when he got there and said that you and Ashley had been crying. And that you guys talked about some very hard things. So I thought we could use a nice easy night for once since the last few months have been crazy. Why don't you sit down and I will go put Lucy to bed.

A few minutes later Ricky came back after changing, and putting Lucy to bed. Then he sat down next to Amy and they shared a nice quiet meal. And then a nice dessert. And then they both cleaned up the kitchen. When Amy dried the last dish and put it away in the cupboard, Ricky pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Then they made their way into their room and for the first time since they had lost their baby they made love, and it was just the two of them and none of the crazy things going on in their lives. And the rest of the night they cuddled and slept deeply. 


	24. Finding the Happiness Again

Amy was in the examining room waiting for her doctor. Ricky had come with her. It was her three month checkup since the miscarriage and she was scared. She didn't know why. She felt good physically. Emotionally still healing from the loss but she and Ricky were both doing better. Ricky squeezed her hand with encouragement and gave her a smile. Then they heard the door open and her ob-gyn Dr. Klein walked in the room. He sat down and he said hello and then did a thorough exam of Amy. Then he asked her several questions throughout the exam. Afterwards he made some notes on his chart and then he looked back at Amy and Ricky.

"Amy you are all healed and doing quite well. Do you have any questions for me or other concerns about your health?

"Yeah. I want to know if we decide we would like to have another child way down the road. What are the chances of me miscarrying again after the last time?" Amy asked as she took a deep breath.

"Amy, you are in fine health. You have had three pregnancies prior and two went well while your third had some complications but we will never know if that was due to your fall and the complications that followed. But I believe your chances for a full term pregnancy and healthy birth are very good. Miscarriages happen sadly but generally like in your case I truly believe it was nature saying that all wasn't right with the fetus, sadly. But make sure you are emotionally ready for that journey before you decide to get pregnant again in the future. I recommend that if you decide down the road you want to become pregnant I want you to come see me. I would like to get you started on vitamins and make sure your completely healthy before I give you the ok. Alright? If you have no more questions for me I have another appointment to prepare for. It was good to see you Amy. I will see you back in three months time from now. "

"Yes." Amy said and shook Dr. Klein's hand. Then Ricky also did the same and then Dr. Klein left the room, leaving Amy and Ricky alone again in the room.

"Do you want more children Amy?" Ricky said with concern in his voice.

"I don't know. I did before all this happened. I would have loved to have five even six. But after what's happened... I just don't know if I want to put myself, your you through all of that again. What do you think?." Amy said and looked at him with sad eyes of the sad reminder of what had been lost.

"I would love to have as many children as we would like. But I am perfectly content with the three children we have right now. And I love our family. Nothing else matters. If we do then great, but if we don't then I am happy with that decision too. When I think of how close I came to losing you too... I cannot imagine living life witout you Amy. And I have almost lost you twice in the last year. And that is more than enough close times for me in one lifetime. I love you and I want you to be there as we raise our children together. When we get our first home. When we are old and gray and surrounded by all of our grandchildren. I want you always just like I told you on the day I proposed, and on our wedding day. I love you and you are the only one for me Amy." Ricky said as a few stray tears fell down his cheeks.

"I love you too Ricky. And I know our family has been through so much in the last few years. I feel horrible for what you and the kids have been through. I also want us to be together always and raise our family. I don't know how I feel about the future of more children. Why don't we not think about it for a while and just enjoy life here and now as it happens. I love you. Lets get ready and lets go home." Amy said and then she leaned up and kissed his cheeks, then his lips deeply and passionately.

An hour later they pulled up in front of Amy's childhood home to pick up the kids who Amy's parents were watching. Ricky parked the SUV and he and Amy walked into the house. They walked into the living room. George was holding Lucy and feeding her a bottle. Anne was playing with Anna and her dolls. While John and Robbiea were playing in Robbie's bedroom upstairs. Ashley and Toby were also in the living room and looking at a picture and smiling. Amy went over to her sister and gave her a big hug. Then she pulled back and gave her a big smile.

"So?" Ricky and Amy asked at the same time.

Ashley and Toby exchanged a smile between them and then they held the picture up. "It's a boy!" They both said together with huge smiles. And then they shared a soft and gentle kiss together.

"Oh wow that is great!" Ricky said and Amy hugged them both together.

"You both must be so excited to hear the news." George said and Anne got up from where she was sitting and hugged them both just as Amy had moments before.

"Yeah we are for the first time in a while. And we have even more news as well. Ashley and I would like everyone to come the Castlehaven Estate this weekend. Because we have decided to get married now instead of next summer. Of couse we will need everyone's help to pull it off since it is like in six days from now." Toby said with a smile. Ashley gave him a soft smile as he said that.

"Oh wow that is fantastic! So we have to get Ash a dress, tux for Toby, flowers, lights, a band..." Anne started to list off.

"Mom we just want a small ceremony. We were thinking just friends, and close family members." Ashley told her mom before she invited the whole city.

"Oh. Well that sounds lovely as well. Do you have any thoughts about the wedding, reception, and the guest list?" Anne asked.

"Um well we want to invite: Adrian, Rueben and Cindy, Jack and Grace, Griffin and Peter, Leo and Camielle, Grant and his new wife Laura, Donovan and Leon, Toby's parents, his brother Mike and his wife Carrie, and all of you of course. Just a small gathering. And Amy it would me a lot to me if you would stand beside me and be my maid of honor. And I want to ask Adrian and Toby's sister- in -law Carrie to be my bridesmaids. And mom and dad I would love if you both gave me away on that day." Ashley said with a huge smile. It was the happiest she had been in quite a few years.

"I would be honored Ash to stand beside as you did with me on my wedding day." Amy said and looked at her sister. Then she stared up at her husband with love at the memory she had lost and then had been lucky enough to have it restored.

"And we would love to walk you down the aisle sweetheart. It would mean the world to both of us to see you joined together with the man you love." Anne said as George grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Both of them touched by the love and glad to be apart of their youngest daughter's wedding day.

"Ricky I would be honored if you would be my best man. I am also asking Mike and I guess Bryan will be taking vacation time and he will be back so I would also like him to be there too. You have seen me so through some hard times the past few months and I would be extremely grateful for you to stand next to me and be there as well." Toby asked.

"Yeah of course Toby. Amy and I are really touched that you are including us on your special day.

"Then it's almost all settled. We will be getting married this coming Sunday with everyone that can make it. Thank you all for your support and your love, and encouragement. It means alot to Ashley and to myself." Toby said with deep emotion in his voice.

And then everyone enjoyed a nice evening together and they all celebrated the future wedding and joy that was being shown to them. And they were taking each moment and treasuring it cause they all knew how fragile life could be and how it could all change in a moment's time.  
> <p>


	25. From This Moment

Adrian along with the kids Holly, Kate, and Hope all stood waiting for Bryan to emerge among the troops that had just arrived and were making their ways to their families. Then finally he appeared before them. He ran and picked up all three of his girls in his arms. He kissed them and hugged them tightly cause he hadn't seen them in months since he had been deployed. And he was thrilled to be home even if it was only for ten days. He was glad to be home with his family.

"Daddy we missed you. I love you daddy." Holly said quickly.

"Me too daddy." Kate said right after her sister.

"I missed you all so much." Bryan said as he was hugging and kissing his girls even more on their cheeks.

"DADDY!" Hope said thrilled and hugged him tightly as she could for an almost three year old. Adrian smiled at the positive reactions from the girls as they each hugged and kissed their father and welcomed him home with all the love and happiness that they had been saving up since he had left all those months ago. Then Bryan pulled back and put down the girls and went over to Adrian. He pulled her close and held her tightly to him in an embrace. He took in her smell and her soft skin. Then he pulled back and kissed her passionately, and deeply his longing to be home shown with as much passion as he could.

Adrian pulled back out of breath. "Welcome home soldier." Adrian smiled and kissed him again but a soft quick kiss this time.

Bryan put both his hands on her cheeks and just held her their and stared into her eyes. He could see love and happiness within them. He knew she was glad he was home just as he was happy to be home too. Then Bryan picked up his bag and and he grabbed Adrian's hand with the other. And the girls held hands and then held Adrian's other hand and then they made their way back to the truck. Then they all drove home to their house.

After an hour passed they parked the truck and they and the kids went inside the house. Ricky and Amy were there taking care of Natalie and Noah. Lucy was there as well while Anna and John were at school for the day as Anna had just started recently. Lucy was in the swing asleep. While Amy was rocking and feeding Noah a bottle while Ricky was doing the same with Natalie.

Adrian grabbed Bryan's hand and took him over to where the babies were. Bryan felt tears come to his eyes as he was overcome with emotions as he saw his two newest children that he had never seen before. Adrian carefully took Natalie from Ricky and gently placed her into Bryan's arms. He cradled the small infant in his arms and admired her features. She looked so much like her mother. She even had Adrian's eyes. Bryan then looked over at his wife who was smiling at his reaction to their baby girl. He then leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss. Then Adrian took Natalie carefully from Byran and then Amy got up and also gently placed an almost sleeping Noah into his father's arms.

The little boy opened his eyes for a moment and then carefully closed them again. Bryan looked into the small face of his son that was an almost perfect replica of his own. He kissed Noah's forehead and then he went over to Adrian who was holding Natalie. He finally felt complete with his family all together agian since he had been gone for so many months and had missed so much in that time. But he would make the most out of the time he had with his family and his friends no matter how short it was. Starting with a wedding of course.

"Thank you Amy and Ricky for helping Adrian. It meant alot to me to know that you along with Adrian's parent's, Jack and Grace were taking care of my family. It allowed me to do my job without much worry for my family. Well I guess we will see you all this weekend." Bryan said.

"Yes we will and it was our pleasure to help in anyway we can. Well now the wedding..." Amy said and everyone all exchanged smiles.

Before everyone knew the next couple days flew by and they finally came upon the day of the wedding. It had been a beautiful day and Ashley and Toby had decided to get married at a beautiful horse farm at nighttime. All the guests had gathered and the wedding party had already made their way down the aisle and everyone now waited for the bride to make her appeareance.

Ashley stood at the end of the aisle in front of about twenty or so guests who were all standing next to their seats. Anne and George, Ashley's parents stood on either side of the aisle as all three made their way down the white carpet covered with yellow roses. At then end of the aisle stood on Amy, Adrian, and Carrie, Toby's sister-in-law on the bride side. They were pale yellow colored dresses that were strapless and were cut just below the knee. All three women had their hair down and curled. They all had bouquets of yellow and white roses. And on the other side were Ricky, Bryan, and Mike, Toby's brother on the groom's side next to Toby. The grounds of the horse farm that they were being married at were surrounded by white fencing which part of it had been decorated with white twinkle lights and white and yellow roses with green garland. And the sun had just set and white lights were hanging about the guest and it lit up the entire beautiful area outside where the ceremony was taking place.

The bride made her way slowly with her parents down the aisle. She wore a strapless ivory white gown. It had simple lace on the bodice. But the skirt in the back and the train were completely decorated with jewels and beautiful beading all the wasy down the six foot train. Her belly showed at five months but she had never looked more beautiful to Toby and her family then she had at the moment. Her hair was also down and decorated with a beautiful lace veil that had a little detail on the very edge. The veil was pulled back over her head. And she had just a slight bit of makeup to show off her beautiful features. After a few minutes they finally made their way to the end of the aisle.

Toby walked over and took Ashley's hand and then each of her parent's kissed her cheeks and then took their seats in the front they made their way in front of the minister. They stood before their family and friends to show their love for each other and join their lives together.

The minister started. "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" he asked.

"Her mother and I do." George said after he and Anne stood again for a moment then were seated again as the minister motioned for everyone to take their seats for the ceremony.

"We are gathered here today to join Ashley Elizabeth and Toby Matthew in holy matrimony. Marriage is a joining of two souls and of two lives together. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly. Having spent the last day or so with Ashley and Toby I believe they truly love each other and are ready to take that step as husband and wife together. Ashley and Toby have written their own vows and will now share them before each other and all of the us gathered here today to witness this union of two people who you all love and care deeply for." the minister said.

And before family and friends Toby and Ashley said their own vows that they each had written. "Toby, I am the luckiest person in the world to have found you. You complete my heart, my soul, my very being of myself. My life would be incomplete witthout you. I know we have seen hard times. None more than recent events. But those things and those around me have taught me that life is fragile and that each moment we are given is a gift. But that each breath can be moment from when we are alive to when we are not. So I choose you as my husband. I will love you and cherish you and be faithful only to you as long as I take breath each moment of my life. I love you Toby and I am honored to be here before family and friends so that we can be joined always as husband and wife. It is the beginning of our own family. I love you." Ashley said and then she wiped a few tears away from her eyes.

"Ashley when I first met you I wasn't sure how I felt about you. But as the days and the years have passed by I have found that I love you deeply, and always will. When your gone I feel like my heart is broken, my life sad and lonely. But when you are with me I am a different person. You make me want to be a better person. I love you Ash. I always will and when I almost lost you I lost myself along with you. But we have been given a second chance to live together, to be together and I will do whatever it takes for us to have a happy life filled with loved and joy. I promise to stay with you and love you and raise our family together. And no matter who or what crosses are path I will be your strength and comfort as you are to me. And until we are called to another life I will be with you every moment of every day that we are given. Because as you said life is over in the blink of an eye and our moment to be together is now. I love you Ashley and I couldn't love anyone the way I love you. I take you to be my wife forever." Toby said as he choked back a few tears.

And then they exchanged rings and shared their first kiss as husband and wife. The crowd stood and cheered as they shared a very long kiss and passionite kiss bewteen them. And then they parted and turned to the ones they loved joined together as man and wife and joined hands and shared smiles and joy as everyone cheered and cameras were flashing in front of them. But there was only joy and happiness. No sadness or hurt could find them in the moment they were sharing. And everyone shared in their joy and happiness too and also seemed to be shielded from the bad things in the world around them at least for the moment. 


	26. New Beginnings

Toby held Ashley close as they danced together for the first time to the song From this Moment On by Shania Twain. They danced for the first dance together. Then when the music ended George stepped in and danced with Ashley to My Little Girl. The dance lasted a while and then everyone joined in to various mixes of different songs. Everyone danced and then ate good food and danced some more. It was a wonderful time for everyone to just kick back and just let the outside world go for a few hours and worry about it at a different time.

A while later Toby and Ashley stepped up on the dance floor in front of everyone with a microphone in hand. Toby spoke to everyone first. "Thank you all for being here. It means a lot to Ashley, myself and our families. Love is a rare thing that we find in life. And that one love that just fills your heart, your soul, and your life is the rarest of all. So when you find it you have to treasure it and do everything you can to hold onto it. I was lucky I found it already. And she is standing here next to me, and were expecting our first child together. Although we have been through a very hard year and at times we both wanted to give up on this life we kept going on. Even though life is hard and painful we both continue to live it. Cause I know that eventually those clouds have to lift and let the sun shine through. And it is much warmer standing out in the sun with those you love then standing in the cold all alone. So for those of you who are in love and are together with that special someone hold onto them. Don't let life, anyone, or anything seperate you if you can help it. We are all glad that all of you could come on short notice. Thank you all and I hope your enjoying our wedding and our reception. Thank you." Toby said and then handed the microphone over to Ashley who took it in her hands and brought it close to her mouth.

Ashley took a deep breath and took in her friends, and her family that were all there sharing this special day with them and then she spoke. "Again thank you for coming. This is the happiest I have been in what seems like a very long time. I have had a very hard personally and some of you know everything while some of you only know a few details. I won't go into specifics but it put me, Toby, and my family and my friends through a lot. But life is a gift and I know that at some time or another each of you will question that gift or want to give up on it but please always remember the good things in your life. Cause life is worth the fight. Someone not so long ago told me some good advice. They told me that it didn't matter who I was or wasn't and not to let the bad things that have happened ruin my life and that they wanted me to be happy. I offer this same advice to all of you. I know that life can be good, but also very hard. But please hold onto each other through the good and bad times. And be kind to one another and love with all the love you have. Thank you. Lets all enjoy some happy moments in life.

So everyone did just that. And then after a wonderful day everyone went home to their homes and their families. Ashley and Toby spent several moments saying goodbye to everyone and then they just stared as everyone drove away. Then Toby reached his hand out and Ashley took it in her own and held it tightly. "Forever." Ashley said and then leaned it and gave Toby a gentle kiss on his lips and then they both went to their hotel room to sleep. Toby respected Ashley's decision to wait. She wasn't ready for that and he didn't care. He just wanted to hold her all night and not ever let her go. And thats what they did. They laid embraced in each other's arms all night long and slept peacefully. Both very happy and enjoying being married finally after all they had been through.

Two days later Ricky and Amy were househunting after they were approved for a loan to buy a house. They had been seaching for the last day for several potential homes. And finally they were driving to the five houses that they had narrowed it down too. They drove into the fourth house on their list hoping it would be the one that they would fall in love with and want to make their family home. Ricky pulled up in front of the house. Amy and he both took in the beautiful house in front of them. It was a two story home with white siding and dark green shutters. Their were two very large beautiful trees in the front yard and in front of the house rose bushes and several other flower beds covered the front of the house. The both got out of the car and walked around the house to the back. Their was a two car garage set far back from the house and upstairs their was a loft above the garage. Their was a nice size yard with a children's playground and sandbox in the far corner of the yard underneath a large willow tree that shaded the sandbox from the sun. And farther back their was a beautiful pond with a small waterfall and several more types of flowers and plants surrounded the pond as well as a beautiful stone path that led from the driveway to the pond in back.

Then Amy and Ricky made their way inside the house that was open for an open house. When they walked in their was a nice large living room off the hallway and a home office off the other side of the hallway. There was also a full bath right next to the office. Further down the hallway was a nice size kitchen with an island and room for a table and chairs. Then their was a dining room with built in shelves and glass doors for china. Then they made their way upstairs and they found the master bedroom first. It was very large much larger than their own bedroom at their apartment. A nice size bathroom was just off the master bedroom. Then as they continued their tour they found three smaller but nice size bedrooms upstairs as well. Then as they went back downstairs and out the class sliding doors through the kitchen they found a large deck off the back of the house with enough room for entertaining and wonderful dinners outside.

"I love it Ricky, can we make an offer right away. It's within our price range and I am afraid someone is going to make one and it will be sold quickly." Amy said as she smiled at her husband with hope that he loved as much as she had.

"Yeah I think we should." Ricky said as he also had fallen in love with the beautiful house.

Amy ran up and threw herself into Ricky's arms and kissed him several times over and over again. "Thank you, thank you." Amy said with joy and happiness in her voice and in her eyes.

"Don't thank me yet sweetheart. They haven't accepted our offer yet." Ricky said as he held Amy in his arms.

"Thank you all the same. Thank you for loving me and for being with me." Amy said as she put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply. Ricky then deepened the kiss and they held onto one another for several moments.

They put the offer in and then they waited. A week passed by and then they finally got a call from the relator that they had got the house and the owners accepted their offer after much time and thought. As the owners had loved the house and weren't positive about selling but had decided it was best for their growing family to find a bigger place.

A week after buying the new house and after they were all moved in Amy and Ricky had their friends and family over for a outdoor barbeque. Ashley, Toby, Jack, Grace, their son Shawn, Adrian, Bryan, their kids Holly, Kate, Hope, Natalie, and Noah were all there. The older kids were all playing on the playground and in the sandbox. While the babies and the toddlers were all napping in their parents arms, strollers and in a playpen set up on the deck.

"Thank you all for helping us move in and for coming today. We cannot thank you all enough for being there for us and our families over the years since we have all known each other. And I know this past year has been hard for all of us. But it seems like we are finally getting past all of that. And Amy and I are thrilled to welcome you to our new home with our children. And I am glad we all could be here together even though like Bryan is time here is short as he is going back overseas soon to take time our of your lives to be here. So here is cheers to everyone on a happy life, wonderful memories, and a great future ahead of us. To new beginnings!" Ricky said as he and Amy held up their glasses of iced tea.

Everyone did the same and said. "To New Beginnings!"


End file.
